Pulling back - for moving forward

Today is the 15th. That means that, at midnight tonight, I'll have been back in Europe for exactly one month. Sometimes South Africa already seems long ago and far away... but, on the other hand, it is still the first thing in my thoughts when I wake up every morning and so that's a sign that it's still very much on my heart during this time of transition. On this date last year, I had just renewed my visa to stay longer in South Africa, and I didn't foresee at all the direction my life would take in the course of just twelve months.

Earlier this year, I was speaking with friends who had recently left the country where they had been missionaries for eleven years of their lives. They told me that God had comforted them with a picture of a bow and arrow: He told them that there’s a tension involved in pulling the arrow backwards, but this tension is necessary in order for the arrow to be propelled forwards towards the target again. Likewise, it’s never easy to move away from the place that you have made your home for so many years, but this "pulling back" is necessary in order for God to launch us forward into the new things that He has for us in the future.

Now that I’ve arrived back in Europe, I’m trusting that God will show me where my new home should be. At the moment, I feel kind of like Abraham (see Hebrews 11 vs 8) who was called to set out on a journey of faith, without actually knowing where he was going to end up! As in the picture of the bow and arrow, there’s a strange kind of "tension" involved in this season of pulling back from what used to be, but not yet totally moving forward into the new things that lie ahead.

When I was reading the Bible recently, God drew my attention to Psalm 90 vs 1: "Oh, Lord, You have always been our home." Or, as it says in another translation, "Lord, You have been our dwelling place throughout all generations." The Hebrew word used here for home is ma'on, which means a place to live, or a refuge, a place of safety. As I’ve recently been through the process of losing my "home" of the past decade, it’s interesting that one of the words God has spoken to me is that He will be relocating me in a "safe place." That’s one meaning of this word ma'on. I’ve been reflecting on the fact that, ultimately, our home isn’t a house; it isn’t a country; it isn’t even the safe place of relationships with people who love and trust us (although the latter is a very big part of it.) The bottom line is that God alone wants to be our real home and our place of safety. No matter how much our outward circumstances may change, God Himself is unchanging. He is yesterday, today and forever the same, and we can depend on Him in every situation.

We live in a world of instant messaging and video conferencing, a world where it’s possible for people to work together even if they live thousands of miles apart. Some of the work that I was doing in South Africa - my international commitments relating to the University and the PCYM training schools - can be done from anywhere that has an internet connection, and so I will continue to fulfil these responsibilities even when I am spending time in Scotland. However, I will also be in a process of asking God to confirm where I should actually live and invest in ongoing ministry in the years ahead. Thanks for your prayers.