Knowing when, and what, to let go

This morning when I took the dog for a walk, we were playing a game of fetch with an old stick that she picked up on the gravel road. The game was fast and furious, but the stick was so dried up and brittle that it sometimes cracked and broke into two pieces when it struck the ground. I soon noticed that whenever Brandy went to fetch the stick, she always tried to bring both pieces back to me. Even if the broken piece was barely two inches long, she would faithfully arrange both pieces in her mouth, as if she had a responsibility to bring the whole stick back, instead of simply choosing the part that was most usable.

It was such a funny, quirky thing to do, and yet, even as I watched and smiled, it struck me that sometimes we can approach life in this way: just as the dog didn't want to leave part of her stick lying in the roadway, sometimes we are also reluctant to leave behind or "lose" things that have been part of our lives. And so we try to take all the pieces with us - sometimes even the "broken" pieces that are no longer useful or helpful to us. And sometimes carrying these things is just as awkward for us as it was for Brandy to pick up two pieces of stick in her mouth!

Last year, when I was preparing to leave Cape Town, I discovered that I'd had a tendency to be a "hoarder." I seemed to have accumulated so much stuff over the years and, when I was packing my suitcase, I constantly had to make decisions about what to bring back with me to Europe and what to leave behind in South Africa. I would look thoughtfully at a book I had once enjoyed, or at a pair of shoes that I seldom wore, and wonder whether I could squeeze them in... But the airline's baggage restrictions forced me to become ruthless: to recognise that there was no room to take everything with me, and that I needed to give lots of things away or simply leave them behind!

Brandy's commitment to bringing back the whole stick was admirable... but it would have been much easier for her simply to make a choice and to leave one of the pieces behind. As I go through life, I pray that I will increasingly learn to draw on God's wisdom to do the same: to know which things are important enough to hold on to and take with me... and which things are the pieces I need to let go of and leave behind me on the roadway.

Spanish Snapshots... and Stars

Spain is a religious country, and yet a surprisingly low percentage of people here would claim to know God in a close and personal way. So there is still a real need for church planting and discipleship in this nation. Yesterday I attended two informal church gatherings that were held in people's homes; one was in Cártama, and the other was the Alhaurín fellowship which currently meets at the home where I am house sitting. It was good to meet with these Christian families and share in their heart to see God at work in this part of Spain.

In an unexpected turn of events, I was recently invited to stay here in Spain for a few months and work with the discipleship training school at one of the YWAM centres in this region. Strangely enough, when I was praying at the beginning of December, I had asked God to show me whether He wanted me to work with a DTS during 2008, and I had thought about Spain as one possibility. But I felt that God said I should simply wait for Him to open the right doors. When I received the phone call last week, I wondered whether this was a door He was opening. However, as I took more time to pray about it, I came to a place of peace that God was simply asking me to continue with the commitments I have made to work with FireStarters youth ministry and with a leadership school in Scotland this year.

I've been challenged recently by the story of the wise men (Matthew chapter 2) who followed a star all the way from the east and yet, near the end of their journey, were wandering around Jerusalem, asking where the new-born King could be found. It seems that they were no longer able to see the star that they had been following for so many months. And I wondered if the wise men lost sight of the star at that point because they began to depend on their own understanding instead of just following God’s direction. You see, they knew that they were looking for the new King of the Jews, and so perhaps that’s why they headed to Jerusalem; that’s where the royal palace was, and so that’s where you’d logically expect the new king to be born. I realised that one of our biggest dangers in discerning and obeying God’s will is that we could fall into the trap of doing what seems logical or obvious... instead of just continuing to depend on the way He is leading us.

Some of the doors that have opened for me recently - like the PCYM in Switzerland or the DTS in Spain - have seemed very "logical" because they are so much in line with the kind of ministry that God has put on my heart. But, in this season of transition, I'm realising that not every door that opens is the right one, or sometimes it's just a case of not being the right timing. And so I'm continually renewing my commitment to do as it says in Proverbs chapter 3 verse 5: Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don't depend on your own understanding. As we closely follow God's leading, and submit every decision to Him, He is more than able to lead us through the right doors at the right time.

Images of Spain

Well, after six weeks without a computer, we finally got it back in January (the day before I left for Spain) but we were disappointed to discover that we had lost all our documents and photos in the process of having the computer fixed. I was particularly disappointed to have lost all the photos of our recent holiday in Canada/USA, as well as all the teaching notes and Powerpoints I had been working on during October and November. Needless to say, I've learned my lesson and will be careful to back up more regularly in future. I'm pleased to report, though, that I've ordered a new laptop (the first computer I've owned since my last laptop went the way of the dinosaurs about ten years ago) and I'll get it when I return to Scotland in February.

The south of Spain in winter reminds me a lot of the Western Cape in winter: sometimes there are cloudless blue skies, but it can also be cold and windy, and there are some days of torrential rain. It's sometimes necessary to build a wood fire in the evening. The photos above show my house mates, Brandy and Simba, as well as our little street and the local goat herd passing by.

I'll be working on a couple of writing projects this month, as well as trying to re-create some of the teachings and slide shows that got lost when the computer crashed. Thanks once again for your prayers, and I wish you God's blessing in 2008.