Of health and healing

I’ve been reading recently in the New Testament book of Acts. It’s exciting to see how the Holy Spirit led the early believers and how supernatural expressions of His presence, like healing or other miracles, were a common occurence. This week as I was reading in Acts chapters 6 and 7 about the life of Stephen and the price that he paid for his faith, I was challenged by his uncompromising boldness. After healing the sick and preaching to the religious leaders of the day, Stephen encountered much opposition and became the first New Testament Christian to die for his faith. 

It made me reflect for a moment on my own life and I was shocked to see that our enemy can be so subtle in the way he intimidates us and robs us of confidence. I’m rarely in situations where speaking about Jesus would cost me my life, and to be honest, I doubt that such a threat would hold me back. But this week I became aware of a different and more subtle hindrance. Twice over the past week, my neighbour has felt suddently and strangely unwell, such that she was unable to go out to the nursing home to visit her mother in the evening.  While my natural response would usually be to ask, “Can I pray for you?,” I felt myself pulling back from that, and on Monday this week I realised why. It’s because of my own health issues in recent months. I wasn’t instantly and amazingly healed of my pleurisy and, after fourteen weeks of battling with it, I realised that something within me was hesitating to pray for a sceptic - just in case she wasn’t healed and it gave her further reason to doubt the reality of God.

On Monday night as I was walking the dog, I felt the Lord challenge me about that. Who am I to think that I need to look after God’s reputation for Him? He’s more than able to do that for Himself. But He commanded us to pray for the sick, and that’s reason enough to pray for my neighbour when she’s not well. The outcome is God’s responsibility, not mine.

An hour later, when I got home from walking the dog on the hilside, I asked my neighbour, “Can I pray for you?” and I was surprised how readily she said yes. In my less than perfect Spanish, I simply prayed for God to touch her with His love and healing. Then she thanked me and gave me a hug.

The next day, amidst my own diagnoses of degenerating arthritis and chronic lung condition, not to mention the news of my cat’s failing kidneys, my neighbour came to me with great enthusiasm, telling me that she felt completely better now and had all her strength back again. Since then, she keeps mentioning how much better she feels now.  It’s obviously an answer to prayer, but I have no satisfactory explanation for why my neighbour would be so remarkably healed, while my cat and myself face rather daunting medical diagnoses.

All I know is that I can’t allow such unanswered questions of life to prevent me from stepping out in obedience to God. He told us to lay hands on the sick and to pray for them, and it’s important for me to obey that, without rationalising and wondering how the person will take it.

We may not be in situations where we’d be martyred for our faith like Stephen was... but we can run into a whole lot of other situations where the enemy will attempt to discourage us, silence us or steal our confidence. That’s when we need to remember that God is bigger and that we simply need to trust Him in every situation.

Teddi's progress

I mentioned a couple of days ago that I needed to take Teddi back for another blood test. Well, the vet phoned last night with some mixed news. The GOOD news is that his hyperthyroidism is under control now. A normal thyroid reading should be between 19 and 51. His was 320!! After a month on meds, it has dropped to only 34 - a tenth of what it was previously, and well within the acceptable range. That's a big relief, as hyperthyroidism can eventually put strain on a cat's heart and kidneys.

The not so good news is that his kidneys do seem to have deteriorated a little bit. A normal kidney reading is between 10 and 50; Teddi's was 55, which is not too bad yet, and now, a month later, it's 62 - which is a sign that his kidney function is slowly deteriorating. However, it's what they call kidney "insufficiency" and not yet what they'd classify as kidney "failure." With his thyroid under control, he could happily live several more years before showing any symptoms of kidney disease. The vet says he really appears outwardly normal, healthy and alert. (Tamba too was fine until the last few days of vomiting, and then it went very fast at the end when her kidneys really failed.)

So I guess I've got my boy at least for a bit more time. I'm not in favour of prolonging the agony if an animal is really ill, but I couldn't bring myself to think of ending his life when he was outwardly so normal and friendly.. and apparently healthy. At least I know now that he can live a bit longer with the thyroid pills, and I trust I'll be able to tell when his time is up and it's kinder to say goodbye. For now, he's just his normal self, so it's a relief to hear that the meds have worked for him.

Medical check ups

Today was a day of medical check ups - for myself in the morning and for Teddi in the evening. In my case, I had an appointment with the doctor to have my lungs checked. It's been fourteen weeks now since I was diagnosed with pleurisy and I wanted to ask if it was normal that I was still coughing a little and having some chest pain. 

Well, I didn't expect to spend four hours at the doctor's surgery this morning. What a pain! The doctor began by checking my lungs and saying that they seem to be clear of infection; the lingering, annoying cough is an aftermath of the pleurisy, due to my underlying lung condition (bronchiectasis.) I've to take an anti-phlegm product for five or six months, or until the cough starts to settle down.

The chest pain on the other hand seems to have a different origin. The doctor says she thinks it's not from my lungs any more, but rather is muscle pain from the deterioration of the arthritis in my spine. Yes, it hurts when I cough, but it's also sensitive to touch and is sore after exercise. I asked her if it could perhaps be a lingering effect of the antibiotic that caused me weeks of cramps and soaring blood pressure, but she feels it's more likely that it's a symptom of arthritis. She did check my blood pressure, though, as it had hovered around 170 during the weeks immediately after taking levaquin, before finally stabilising around its usual, rather low 118 or 120.

To our shock, my blood pressure was 165/103. That's really high for me, as I've had unusually low blood pressure my whole life. She packed me off down to the emergency department where they gave me a pill and injected me with some muscle-relaxing potion. Then I had to sit around for an hour until they tested my pressure again and found it had returned to its normal 120/60. So the verdict is that the high blood pressure has probably been provoked by living with several months of pain and disrupted sleep. I've to monitor it for a couple of weeks and see if it generally stays normal again.

I think the doctors were a little baffled, as I'm the poster child for low blood pressure: I don't smoke tobacco, drink alcohol, eat a lot of salt, fat or red meat. I only drink one cup of coffee per day, I have a healthy pace of life, normal body weight, sufficient daily exercise and seemingly adequate amounts of sleep. I never feel tired or depressed. The only anomaly is my arthritis/fibromyalgia pain and the fact that it sometimes disrupts my sleep. The doctor said that living with pain can put stress on the body and perhaps I need to take more pain killers instead of putting up with discomfort…. and even take something to help me sleep if I'm lying awake for no obvious reason. (As you can imagine, I didn't feel very positive about that idea!) Then they'll monitor whether sleeping better and having less pain keeps my blood pressure at its normal, stable level. What a nuisance! Needless to say, I feel suitably geriatric.

My other reason for going to the doctor was to get a prescription for my malaria tablets, as it's only two weeks now before I leave for my extended trip to West Africa. At least it's good to know that my lungs are relatively fine again before I leave… and I'm praying that the air conditioning in planes and airports won't provoke any further problems this time.

This evening it was Teddi's turn, as we had to go back to the vet to take blood so that they can check his kidneys and his thyroid level again. The poor boy hates going in the car, and I feel horrible doing that to him. I realise that I've been subconsciously grieving him and anticipating the possibility of losing him…. yet it seems unreasonable to consider putting him to sleep when he seems just as happy and healthy as he has always been. This past weekend, after a month on his thyroid medication, I begin to wonder if I was at last noticing a change in his coat - whether it was slowly beginning to become silky and shiny again, instead of matted and greasy. It's hard to tell, though, and I won't get the results of his blood test until later this week. So we need to wait and see.

(See 29th June for the outcome of Teddi's blood test.)

International food

This week has felt a little bit like international culinary week. On Monday I cooked Pad Thai, a spicy Asian noodle dish with prawns, for my neighbour and me. Then, last night, I cooked Indonesian food (nasi goreng and chicken satay), which I enjoyed with an English friend who's recently moved to Spain. Tonight, I'll join with friends of six different nationalities for Mexican food (enchiladas) to celebrate the 30th birthday of Antonio, our wonderful Mexican cook at the retreat centre.

This morning, I walked the dog in a different part of town from usual, so that I could pop in to the open air market and stock up on some fresh fruit and vegetables. Nectarines, plums, avocados and beetroot were my choices for today. The avos can be used to make guacamole  for our Mexican meal , although I'm also planning to try out a new recipe for chocolate avocado pudding. The plums and nectarines are just for eating, and the beetroot is for making juice. Delicious!

Self inflicted curses ?

Yesterday, in my daily Bible reading, I came to that strange story in Numbers 23 - 24 about Balaam's donkey. You probably remember it. The Moabite king, a man called Balak, gets in touch with Balaam, an infamous mercenary prophet of the day, and asks him to curse the people of Israel. Although Balaam quickly discovers that it's God's will to bless the Israelites and not to curse them, he tries to find ways of getting around God's instructions - because Balak has promised to pay him well if he pronounces curses on the tribes of Israel. So he sets out to give it a try, anyway, and runs into difficulties when his donkey sees an angel in the road and refuses to carry Balaam any further. The end of the story - or at least it seems like the end - is that Balaam blesses the Israelites three times, instead of calling down curses upon them. As Balaam explains to Balak: How can I curse those whom God has not cursed? God has blessed them and I cannot reverse it.

Sadly, that wasn't the end of the story. Unable to curse the Israelites verbally, Balaam resorted to more subtle means. (See chapter 31 verse 16)  He seems to have been the person who orchestrated the trap of temptation that we read about in Numbers 25: Moabite women invite Israelite men to sleep with them and to attend sacrifices to their foreign gods. Thus, although unable to be cursed by an enemy, the men of Israel brought disaster on themselves with their own sin and disobedience.

Reading that chapter this morning, it struck me that something very similar could easily happen today: the enemy may have no authority to curse us with sickness, but we can bring it on ourselves with workaholism and neglecting the sabbath. The enemy may have no right to curse us with financial ruin, but we can cause problems for ourselves by poor stewardship, getting into debt, or failing to tithe.

There's such security in knowing that an enemy cannot curse us when God has chosen to bless us. Let's not mess it up by steps of disobedience that bring self-inflicted "curses" upon ourselves.

A refreshing break

Now that the LDC is over, my daily schedule this week is a lot more flexible. I had time to go to the dentist, to take my car in for a service, and to drink coffee with my neighbours. Most days, I've had one or two Skype meetings or coaching appointments, and afterwards I could take a well earned break and have a refreshing swim in the warm June sunshine.

Swimming hasn't been my only physical exercise this week. I've also been taking the dog for a walk every morning and evening, and enjoying long chats with all the other dog walkers who congregate in the nearby park around 8.30 pm. One evening we had fifteen dogs there for our canine "play date," many of them still puppies full of youthful energy.  I've been having some success in getting Buba used to the car (she used to get motion sickness as a puppy) and so we're hoping perhaps to take her for a trip to the beach next week and see if she'll take to swimming in the shallow waves. Should be fun.

Following up...

With the end of LDC, it was time to say goodbye to the ladies in my process group - a diverse group of ladies coming from Asia, North and South America, Eastern Europe and the Pacific, and with an age spread of 37 years between the youngest group member and the oldest.

Over the coming six months, I'll be doing follow up coaching with Heidi from Hungary, as well as with two other ladies not pictured here: Reni from Western Europe and Luba from Slavic Europe.

Holy ground

Based on the story of Moses encountering God at the burning bush, the theme of this year's LDC was, "God calls when we turn aside." The 24 leaders, who joined us from 14 different nations, were all setting 40 days aside to meet with God, reflect on leadership development, and take steps in their own lives that would help them to "finish well."

Early in the course, we had a very meaningful worship time where we felt God exhorting us to, "Take off your shoes, because you are standing on holy ground." Different people experienced that in different ways: some felt that removing their shoes was symbolic of vulnerability towards God and others; some felt that it represented a commitment to set this quality time aside and not to rush off in the busyness of ministry activity.

Yesterday, as those six transformational weeks of LDC drew to a close, we finished with a time of worship and thankfulness to the Lord. As each one put their shoes on at the end of the morning, we were struck with the realisation that God had done a deep work in our lives and that we are commissioned to carry holy ground with us, no matter where we go.

Many of the LDC delegates were in their 40s, 50s and 60s, with many years of missionary service behind them. (Someone worked out that the 24 delegates had together clocked up more than 600 years of ministry!) In just two weeks' time, we'll cover some of the same leadership topics with a slightly different audience.

From 19th - 25th June, we'll be running the B2B (Be the leader God wants you to be) seminar for younger and emerging leaders. The content will touch on some of our  LDC values (self leadership, team leadership, servant leadership, strategic leadership, etc) but will be presented in a way that is more relevant to a younger audience with less leadership experience behind them. B2B participants are usually aged 18 - 30. I love working with young leaders, and so I'm looking forward to this stimulating time at the end of June.