Is it time to make some tents?

The question of whether pastors and missionaries should be "full time" workers for the Kingdom of God or whether they should also take on paid employment to support themselves is a longstanding one  - one that has been answered in different ways, in different parts of the world, at different times in history.

The general trend of the New Testament - from the words of Jesus Himself (Luke 10: 5 - 7) to the writings of Paul the missionary (1 Corinthians 9: 6 - 15) seems to say that evangelists and missionaries should receive support for the voluntary work that they do.

However, there are also times when Paul says that he worked to support himself rather than be a burden to the young believers. (Acts 20: 33-34 and 1 Thess 2: 9, for example.) In Acts 18: 3, we read that he actually had skills in the trade of being a tentmaker.

In my own ministry journey, I've been in both of these positions. For my first 9 years of missions involvement, I received no gift income at all; I constantly took "time out" to work as a teacher and earn the money that would support me for my next season of missionary work. Then, from 1988 until now, I have mainly lived on gift income - regular contributions from faithful donors who contribute ten or twenty or fifty pounds a month. Special miracles have still been needed - especially when it came to buying plane tickets for ministry trips, or needing a new computer when the old one died - but for some decades now, I haven't returned to paid employment as a way of funding my calling as a missionary.

I've been aware that I have "marketable skills." Knowing that I won't have a pension in the future as other people do, I've been conscious that my training as a language teacher or as a life coach could both be ways of earning money if I were "retired" and no longer receiving missions support in my "old age." But I've never had a sense that I should take time out from ministry involvement and use those skills to earn money in the here and now. Anyway, for most of my life, the conditions of my non-profit visa have meant that any kind of employment, even self employment, was prohibited. 

In this current season, of discovering that my present income is no longer enough to live on, one person has asked me if I've thought of giving half of my week to earning money and the other half to my voluntary ministry activities.

It's a valid question... but for now the answer is no. I haven't felt that I've to reduce my ministry involvement in order to do other work to fund it (although I'm very aware that tutoring school kids in English or French could become a ministry expression, a wonderful way of meeting teenagers and their families.) But getting "a job" places restraints on your timetable and can be a limiting factor when it comes to participating in outreach projects and other ministry travels to other countries.

So I feel like it's not yet the time for me to do some "tent making," and am trusting that God has a different kind of solution for me in the weeks ahead. 

Exactly as He said...

Today I completed my reading through the biblical book of Exodus. The book began with God's people suffering in slavery... and it ends with their having a beautiful and precious symbol of God's presence in their midst. (The last few chapters, the ones I read today, are all about the completion of the Tabernacle, a visible symbol of God's presence dwelling among them.)

They're not yet in their Promised Land at the end of the book. In fact, they're still in the desert. But it was precisely in that wilderness setting that they established the priority of God's presence. That was a lifestyle choice - a priority that they would take with them to the place where they would finally settle.

Those concluding chapters are full of details about building an altar, making a golden washbasin and lamp stand, sewing clothing for the Levites.... It goes on and on in detail and it's tempting just to skim-read it as something that was important at the time, but not so relevant to us today.

What really did stand out for me, though, is something that is repeated no fewer than eleven times in chapters 39 and 40. Check it out for yourself: 11 times in those concluding chapters we read that the people did everything just as the Lord had commanded them to do.

And what was the result of this wholehearted obedience? It was that the glory of God filled the Tabernacle and His presence visibly dwelt among them - symbolised by the cloud and the fire that guided them day and night. (Exodus 40: 34-35)

Their journey wasn't over yet, but the most important thing was in place: the presence of God lived among them and we read that He continued to guide them "throughout all of their journeys." (vs 38)

Sometimes God guides us in a general sense and He trusts us to fill in the details. He might lead us to live in a certain town or take up a certain employment.... but He doesn't fill in any details about which street we'll live in or what clothes we'll wear to work!

At other times, God guides us in the details, and there's usually a good reason for that. (I remember feeling prompted to catch a certain train between Switzerland and France, and ended up spending the whole journey chatting with a young woman who was really seeking God.)

Whether He just shows us the broad brush strokes or whether He fills in the details of the picture, the important thing for you and me is that we follow His instructions and do things exactly as He said. That will be the key to knowing His presence with us, and it's His presence that makes all the difference. 

Caring for the elderly...

People who know me well would probably describe me as a "dog person." Since childhood I've enjoyed the company of dogs and have had fun walking them and training them. So it was quite a surprise to some people when I moved to Spain in 2008 and suddenly became a cat owner.

Decades of missionary lifestyle had meant that it was seldom possible for me to have a pet of my own... but when I was adopted by a (pregnant) stray cat in my neighbourhood, I discovered that it was easier to leave a cat at home during ministry travels than to leave a dog that had to be taken out for walks. And so began the "cat years" of my life.

I'd had a cat a couple of times in the past, but never had much luck with them. My cats had only lived for a year or two. But my Spanish feline family brought a change to that. I had the mother cat, Tamba, for 7 years, Tobi lived for 12 years, and now my old boy, Teddi, will have his 14th birthday next month.

I've made some fun memories with Teddi over the years - not least the short season in 2015 when he went viral, appearing in newspapers, websites and TV programmes all over the world because of the fact that he had his own YouTube channel and did tricks like a dog would.  You can read one of those old newspaper stories by clicking here.

And so, although it may seem unimportant to some people (it's "only a cat," after all), I feel a responsibility to look after Teddi well and not simply "get rid of him" in his old age.

Teddi has lived most of his life in the house where I currently live. In recent weeks, I've needed to look for new housing - a place where Teddi can go with me, as well as Maiki, the dog who now shares Teddi's YouTube channel. As it began to seem possible that no flats or houses were available within my current budget, one or two people have suggested that perhaps I just need to rent a "room" instead. At least one person has even offered that I can move into the spare room in her flat.

The problem with renting a room instead of a home is that you are usually not allowed to take a cat with you. This kind of rules it out as an option for me, even though one person commented, "But he's an elderly cat; you could just put him to sleep." And the person who has already offered me a room has a dog that growls at cats; I hate to think of Teddi spending his last years locked up in a tiny room with no access to even a balcony and with the stress of being pursued if he happens to set foot out of the bedroom.

And so, despite the fact that renting just a room might seem an obvious option right now, I'm choosing to "care for the elderly" and keep waiting and searching for an option where Teddi and Maiki can be comfortable too. They're the only "family" I have here in Spain and I feel like I owe it to them.

This morning I was remembering some of the times in the past - at least three times came to mind - where I moved to a different country, and so I had to give away all my furniture before I left, or leave it behind for the people who stayed in my housing. This time I'm moving within the same country, and so I have a sense that I should hold on to the furniture God has provided over the years, and not simply give it away so that I can downsize to a single room or a small furnished studio.  

My elderly boy will be grateful for that. 😀

A different way of thinking...

In my early morning Bible reading today, I was reflecting on what we read in Isaiah 55 vs 8 - 9: that God's thoughts are distinctly different and far above ours.

That makes sense, because the thoughts of human beings so easily tend towards the negative, while God's thoughts are in the realm of righteousness and of, "nothing is impossible."

It's a lifelong journey, isn't it? Learning to think the way God thinks and to view life from the Lord's perspective. No wonder the New Testament tells us that we need to have our way of thinking renewed or transformed if we want to be able to discern God's will. (Romans 12: 2)

When it comes to my house hunting journey, I think I've been doing okay so far. Someone in my house group on Tuesday even commented that I seemed quite "relaxed" about the situation. But I was aware yesterday (see post below this one) that the news about having to provide salary slips had robbed me of a little hope - hope of finding a rental home at least.

As I process this news, however, I don't want to fall into the trap of thinking my own thoughts and possible solutions. I want to truly see things through God's eyes. My NLT Bible translation of Isaiah 55: 8 says that His way is, "far beyond anything you could imagine." Ephesians 3: 20 also proclaims that God is able to do infinitely more that we might ask for or even imagine.

I can imagine plenty. I can imagine that finding some kind of private rental is the only way forward (with the usual estate agent channels now closed to me.) I can imagine that a millionaire comes along and buys me a house with a garden and a swimming pool (😀). I can imagine that finding a subletting situation (like when people rent out a room in their home or in their basement) is the only option within reach....  

I can imagine a lot - some of it possible and most of it impossible - but I want to be thinking with God-anointed imagination and not just with my own human thinking and understanding.

I don't want to fall into the same mistake that I made in 1989 - when I realised one day that I didn't have too much of a problem trusting God for the impossible, but I wasn't very good at trusting Him for the possible. The situation at that time was that two friends and I had just moved into a flat together in the city of Vienna. The flat had no washing machine and we were finding it challenging  and time consuming to have to travel around the city on public transport (trams and underground) carrying our dirty laundry to where there was a public laundrette and then lugging the wet washing home again. 

Now, getting a washing machine for the flat was not an impossible task: you could find second hand washing machines in the classified ads of local newspapers (this was before the days of internet!) and the three of us could each contribute some money to buy one and have it installed.... albeit with the risk that the machine would come with no guarantee.

Then, one morning God spoke to me during my quiet time. "You're not really trusting me with all of your life," He said. "You trust me with things that seem really impossible, but when it comes to things that you think are possible for you to do yourself, you don't include me in that." I realised that was true and I repented, telling the Lord that I trusted Him even with this need that we could resolve "on our own."

Some time later, through a series of "coincidences," God used a lady I'd met, a complete stranger to us, to buy us a brand new washing machine for the flat! 

So, in my present situation, I want to remember that God's thoughts are often quite different from my thoughts. I want to trust Him with the options that seem possible to me, as well as with the ones that seem completely out of reach. And I want to grow in seeing all of life, including my own life, from God's perspective.

 

Rentals, red tape and rejection...

When I began house hunting at the beginning of this year, I fully expected that I was going to run into some faith challenges. I had been paying minimal rent for more than a decade and I knew that typical rentals on a house like mine were around five or six times the amount I had been paying.

Even so, it was rather a shock - as I mentioned in a previous post - to discover that even the tiniest of flats or one-roomed studios had a rental that was more than my total monthly income.  I wasn't sure whether I should even go and look at the places available, when I knew that my income was insufficient to cover the cost.

But God has kept reminding me of the principle of stepping out with what we have - even if it seems totally inadequate for the situation. I wrote about that in this blog (see this post from 3rd January) and this week I shared a devotional about it when my home group from church met, probably for the last time, at my house. Different group members then shared their own testimonies of times that they had stepped out in faith and how God had honoured their faith by providing all that they needed.

Yes, I was prepared for the fact that there would be a faith challenge. What I wasn't prepared for was that the system would have changed since the last time I was house hunting, that there would be more red tape than in the past, and that I would constantly find myself being rejected as an undesirable tenant.

I decided this week that I needed at least to visit a few flats and studios - just to see what is available and get a sense of whether God was prompting me to have faith for any place in particular. So I requested a few appointments to visit properties: the system usually involved leaving your phone number in a contact form and waiting for them to phone you to arrange a visit.

Imagine my surprise when I was subjected each time to an interrogation and a speech about the "requisitos" (requirements) for signing a rental contract. Rental contracts are not allowed to be more than 33% of your monthly income, I was told, and so, before arranging for me to visit a flat, they needed proof that I had been in my current employment for more than a year, and I had to provide salary slips to confirm my income over the past three months!!

It wouldn't have surprised me that proof of income was needed if I was looking to arrange a mortgage, but I was stunned to discover that it was also needed for a rental contract. I suppose it's their way of confirming that you're not going to default on the monthly payments.

Of course, I had to go through the usual explanation that I don't have a salary, that I do voluntary work and live from gift income. (In different circumstances, I might have offered to provide three months of bank statements... but I knew that this would only confirm the rental to be an amount higher than my total income.) It didn't seem that this was even an option for them, however. Time and again I discovered that, if I wanted to rent even a one-roomed studio, I needed to have an income of more than €3000 per month, and I needed to prove it with salary slips.

I'm not giving up yet. I'm going to keep looking and keep trying to make appointments to view possible accommodation. But it does feel a little bit as if a door is closing... as if finding a rental property through the usual channels is something that is far out of reach.

There's an old saying that rejection often turns out to be redirection. If you read missionary biographies, there have been many people historically who found doors closing to them (even some, like Gladys Aylward, who were rejected for missionary service) and God used that closed door to direct them into the plans and purposes He had for them. 

So I'm seeking to be sensitive to what the alternatives to the red tape might be. Perhaps a private rental without an estate agent's contract could be an option. Perhaps there's still a future housemate out there somewhere. Some people have even urged me to consider that it might be time to buy a home instead of renting one!

Each option feels just as impossible as the others... so, as we head into the last week of the month, I just keep moving forward at the prompting of a God who specialises in the impossible.

 

The promise or the presence...

Continuing with my daily reading in the book of Exodus, today I came to a chapter that has long been a favourite for me.

After the sad episode  of the golden calf (in Exodus 32 - when the people got tired of waiting for God's timing and decided to build themselves a new god to worship) God speaks to Moses at the beginning of Exodus chapter 33, reassuring him that they are still going to get their promised land, and that He will still send an angel ahead of them to guide them there. However, because of their stubbornness and rebellion, God says that He Himself will no longer travel among them.

You might imagine that their reaction would be one of relief: despite their sin, they weren't going to forfeit the wonderful inheritance that God had promised them. But no, Moses' reaction and the people's reaction was to go into mourning.

You see, as Moses expresses in vs 15-16, they knew that the presence of the living God with us is the only thing that truly distinguishes us from any other people on the face of the earth. And so Moses prays, "If you don't personally go with us, please don't make us leave this place."

In other words, Moses cared more about God's presence than about God's promise. He was saying that they would rather stay there in the desert with the presence of God than travel without the presence of God to the "land flowing with milk and honey" that He had promised them.

I know that I feel the same. In my present circumstances, I am trusting and praying that some miracle will make it possible for me to stay here in Alhaurín de la Torre - my land of "springs and palm trees." I know that such a miracle would be a huge testimony to others who are observing my journey. But I also know that the biggest testimony of all, no matter where I end up living, is the reality of God's presence with me.

God promises Moses, "My presence will go with you and I will give you rest." My NLT Bible translation of verse 14 adds, "Everything will be fine for you." It's not being in a familiar place that gives us rest and security; it's being in the presence of God.

Read on below for more reasons why Exodus 33 is a favourite chapter of mine.

Experiencing God's glory...

Much of Exodus 33 highlights the fact that Moses had a close relationship with God: how they spoke face to face like close friends (vs 11) and how Moses longed not only to see God's marvellous deeds, but also to know and understand His ways (vs 13). In fact, some generations later, David wrote in a psalm that the people of Israel knew God's mighty acts, but Moses knew God's ways. (Psalm 103 vs 7)

With such a strong foundation of friendship, it's not surprising that, at this challenging time on their exodus journey, Moses dared to ask if he could see God's glory. (Exodus 33: 18) I wonder what he expected when he made that request. What would you imagine it's like to see the glory of God? The Bible is full of verses about God's glory and old paintings typically depict it as something bright and shining.

God agrees to reveal His glory to Moses, and what He goes on to do in vs 19 is to reveal something of His character: His goodness, His mercy and compassion... Knowing the nature and character of God is what matters more than anything else. Constantly growing in our knowledge of who God is, no matter what circumstances we happen to be in, is what it truly means to experience His glory.

Strength and courage...

The themes of courage and strength have kept popping up in my Bible reading this week - for example, in Joshua chapter 1 verse 9. Some of us remember this verse from the old song that says, "Be bold; be strong!"

When God told Joshua to be strong and courageous, not to be fearful or discouraged, He gave him a very good reason for that sort of confidence: "The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

When I thought on it, "Be strong" seemed kind of a strange command. I've been so aware in recent years of diminishing physical strength and of all the things I can no longer do (like opening a ring pull can or unplugging the iron after I've plugged it in!) It feels to me as if strength is a given, and not something that you can choose to be in the way you can choose to be courageous.

But I suppose that's not strictly true. You can increase your physical strength, at least a little, with exercise. And I can increase my spiritual and emotional strength, and my courage, by not shrinking back from things that feel too big for me.

The writer of a devotional booklet added this further word that the Lord spoke to her: "Not only I am with you, but I have unlimited resources to help you."

Unlimited resources! I know that to be true and have experienced it in my own life over more than four decades of being a missionary. I realised on reflection, though, that while I don't have an issue with trusting God for resources when it comes to some kind of ministry challenge, I often don't expect "unlimited resources" to come into play when it's for something personal - something that I perceive to be "just for me." I'm used to dying to my personal dreams that seem out of reach and I don't in the least mind being the person with the out of date phone or the old computer. And I don't think that's all bad. I see absolutely no reason to hanker after the latest gadget when the one you have works just fine.

But I had to acknowledge that there's a slightly flawed theology in not always expecting "unlimited resources" for my personal needs. It suggests that God is only interested in our work/ministry and not so much in our personal dreams and wishes. And that is simply not true at all of a caring, generous Father. He loves to bless us with special gifts and demonstrations of His care for us.

I need to remember what a huge miracle our house in Durbanville (Cape Town) was. Not only did Helen and I build a brand new house, we built it in one of the "nice" parts of town... because it was a perfect location for close and easy access to the youth ministry centre we had built at that time. Two exciting building projects, one of them "personal," despite the fact that our combined income was "below minimum wage." (That's a story for another time.)

Yet here I am, twenty years later, contemplating having to move far from Alhaurín because the town is too "nice." Its picturesque setting and close proximity to Málaga mean that the area is "too expensive" - both for property prices and for rentals. But it's been the perfect location for the ministry doors that God opened up for us here. Why should I contemplate moving inland to some isolated little village, far from those ministry opportunities, as if I believed that God is unable to activate "unlimited resources" (either in money or in miracles) to provide a place in Alhaurín for me? After all, this is my place of "springs and palm trees." (See this post for an explanation of what that means.)

So I had to repent this morning for not mixing in sufficient faith with the courage and strength that God was encouraging me to have. I thought about some of the dreams that have already come true (like my long term dream of having a dog again) and some of the personal needs that have been provided for in recent times (I have a relatively new car and computer at the moment and, since Christmas, I have a new phone to replace the one that had reached the end of its lifespan.) Yes, I know those three things could be seen as provision for ministry needs, but they're for my personal use as well. So I choose to be bold and strong... and not to act as if God's unlimited resources can't be applied to my housing needs too. He is faithful and He is good!

Beautiful timing...

In my Bible meditation this morning, I was reflecting on the verse that says God "makes everything beautiful at the right time." (Ecclesiastes 3: 11) That well known chapter begins by saying that, "There is a right time for everything, and a season for every activity under the sun."

In the story I've been reading of the Israelites' exodus from Egypt, a pillar of cloud in the daytime and a pillar of fire at night time were a visible way of helping the people make sure that they didn't stray from God's perfect timing on their journey. If they tried to rush ahead of Him, or if they stayed behind when the cloud had begun to move... either way, they would lose that sense of the presence of God.

In fact, those are the two main mistakes we can make in following God's will for our lives. People who dislike change can make the mistake of holding back, staying in their comfort zone and resisting transition - even when God is clearly directing them to move forward. It's partly due to personality... but I notice that age can also be a factor. The older we get, the harder it can be to leave behind the familiar and step into the known or unknown future that seems scary or risky to us.

On the other hand, there are personalities who thrive on change and chomp at the bit, putting themselves in danger of forging ahead and also missing God's timing. For any of us, once we've understood the what or the how of what God wants to do next, it can be hard to wait patiently until He shows us the "when" and maybe a bit more detail about the how. Now that I know my time of renting this house is over, it's hard to keep looking every day and not finding feasible options right away... but the reality is that I actually have another six weeks before my new home needs to become available.

Someone, speaking to me about divine provision, commented that God always seems to come through "at the last minute." While that can sometimes be true, I don't like the way it makes the Lord sound sort of capricious, as if He revelled in giving us a hard time. Surely it's more accurate to say that He releases things "just when they are needed" and He is never late.

I think about this house that I'm living in now. My friend Ada and I had been searching for weeks and finding nothing (this was back in early 2010) and then I discovered this house more or less on the very day it became available. The house had actually been sold, but the buyers' mortgage had suddenly fallen through and so the original owner, my landlord, decided to put the house up for rent instead. The timing was perfect.

Or I think about my parents' house in Scotland. They've had more than three stressful years of hassling with their insurance company about a repair that needed done. Now that the work is finally happening, the insurers are also having to rewire the house, put in a brand new kitchen, and redecorate throughout. God can make everything beautiful in its time... even the hard things. That's why I can say with the psalmist, "My times are in your hands." (Psalm 31: 15)

I recently read this sentence in a book: "Even the most fulfilling times in life must eventually give way to something new." I know that to be true in my own experience. I loved living in Austria (in the 1980s) but moving on from there opened new and exciting ministry doors for me. Moving from Scotland to South Africa involved making some sacrifices, but that move also paved the way for blessing and fruitful ministry. Cape Town felt more like "home" than anywhere I've ever been... but letting go of that allowed me to slowly discover this new European home that I have in Spain. And so I choose to embrace whatever God has next for me in this Spanish context and to trust His timing for whatever lies ahead.

Ecclesiastes 3 vs 6 says there's "a time to keep and a time to throw away." 

I remember how hard it was, when I was leaving South Africa, to decide what I could take with me and what I had to leave behind. I discovered that you can't pack fourteen years of your life into a couple of suitcases. So I had to be ruthless about what I was going to throw away, or give away, or store in a box in case I came back to get it.

Moving within the same nation will hopefully be less dramatic (and less traumatic!) but it would be wise for me to start sorting through drawers and cupboards now - giving away or throwing out some of the things that really don't need to make the move with me. Even when we're not moving anyway, a bit of "decluttering" now and then is a good way to help us live more simply and travel light. So that's going to be one of the practical steps I'll take over the coming weeks, as I wait for God to make everything beautiful at the right time. 

Feeling in need of an angel...

In my ongoing reading of the book of Exodus, today I arrived at chapter 23. This is just after God has given the people the Ten Commandments and other laws to help them live in harmony with each other. Now He moves on to giving them some instructions about the journey to the new home that He has prepared for them.

And the first thing He says is, "I am sending an angel ahead of you..." When I read that, I couldn't help feeling that I also wished I had an angel to help me. I sometimes feel so alone in this process of trying to find a new home. When you think about it, it's not something that people normally do alone. Finding a home is something that's normally done as a group, as a couple or as a family. Having an angel to lead the way would be just wonderful!

I thought back to the many times in my life that I needed to find accommodation... from the very first time as an 18-year old when I and a couple of friends were going to University and looking for student accommodation for our years in Glasgow. In France, in Austria, in South Africa... I remembered that there had always been others involved in my house hunting: friends or missionary colleagues who shared the task of finding a place and making it into a home.

The only time I was truly alone in the search was when I was first moving to Spain in 2008. As you may have read in the posts below, God's answer that time was to provide a house mate for my first season in a new country. In some ways, that probably seems like the most obvious solution this time round too... But there's a big difference between finding a stranger as a room mate when you're a student in your twenties and trying to do the same thing when you're in your sixties. It makes me feel incredibly vulnerable at this stage of life to think of having to share a home with a stranger - who very probably wouldn't have the same values or lifestyle as I do.  (I guess that's what it's like for elderly people who finish their life in a nursing home, having to share a home and maybe even a room with some other old person that they've never met before.)

And so that's what made me feel today that I need an angel - obviously not as a housemate, but simply so that I don't feel so alone in the whole process of finding a new home. Exodus 23: 20 said that the angel would protect them on their journey, would lead them safely and would guide them to the place that God had already prepared for them.

I choose to believe that God has prepared a place for me this year - even if finding it doesn't feel particularly straightforward at the moment. I know that He can guide and protect me on the journey, and I find security in knowing that nothing is impossible for Him.

 

Big moves, right moves, wrong moves...

I'm going to be moving house this year - a big change for me, after living 13 years in the same home. So I decided to begin the year by reading about one of the biggest moves in history: the mass moving of more than a million Israelites when they left Egypt and began to travel to their promised land. It's fascinating to read about how God helped them prepare for their big move, and then provided for them every step of the way.

Some forty years previously, there had been another move that was not quite so well prepared.  Rushing ahead of God's timing and taking matters into his own hands, Moses had killed an Egyptian. This led to his fleeing to the desert of Midian and staying there for a very long time.... until the Lord called him to go back to Egypt and do thing's God's way. Whether we're staying or moving, it's so important to discern God's guidance and obey it in the details.

Earlier in December, I had been reading about two other moves - one that ended badly and one that ended well. At the beginning of the Old Testament book of Ruth, we read about a whole family that decided to move to another country. There was famine in Israel at the time and so a couple named Elimelech and Naomi decided to pack up everything and move with their two sons to Moab, an unbelieving, enemy nation. (Ruth 1:1)

I'm sure that they thought they were doing what was best for their family's physical and material wellbeing... but it didn't end well. Within not much more than a decade, the father and sons were all dead and Naomi was left alone with the two foreign women that her sons had married. I'm not a parent, but this story has often made me reflect on how easily we could make the same mistake: doing something that seems to be materially advantageous for ourselves or our family and unknowingly jeopardising their long-term spiritual wellbeing.

Heartbroken and disillusioned, Naomi decides to move home to Israel... and one of her daughters-in-law decides to make the journey with her. She arrives home bitter and disappointed.... but this move has been a right one, and God in His goodness and mercy has better things in store for them.

And so we read of how the two women make a new home for themselves in Bethlehem... ultimately becoming part of a new family, and Ruth - even though she was a foreigner - gives birth to a son who would be one of the ancestors of Jesus, the Messiah.

There are right moves and wrong moves in life. Sometimes we make the wrong moves for what seem to be right reasons to our human understanding ... and sometimes we even make right moves for the wrong reasons. Worst of all, however, is when we make the wrong moves for the wrong reasons.

In Ruth chapter 3 vs 1, Naomi says to Ruth, "My daughter, should I not find a permanent home for you, where you will be well provided for?" In my own season of "moving," I sense that God would say that to me too, and I am trusting Him to help me make the right moves and avoid the wrong ones.

The "faith" of unbelievers...

If you are one of the people that receives my weekly prayer updates, you'll remember that just a few years ago I asked you to pray for my neighbour who lives in the house back to back with mine. (We're the yellow block on the map to the right; I live in Lemon Street and she lives in Orange Street.) After her husband died, an estranged stepson appeared and threatened to evict her from her lifelong home, so that he could claim "his half" of it. (My friend's husband had not left a will, as it seemed obvious that she was the only one who would inherit the house that they had bought together with her parents.) My friend faced the daunting reality that her house could be sold out from under her, and her half of the money would not even be sufficient to buy a tiny one bedroom flat for herself and the dogs.

I invited you to pray for her and this crisis situation, and God responded in an amazing way: out of the blue, a "benefactor" came along (a friend of a friend; someone she didn't even know) and offered to buy out the other half of the house, with an agreement that Matilde could continue living in it until the end of her lifetime - at which point the house would become his. While this was obviously a good deal for the benefactor (who was essentially buying a house for just half of what it was worth), it was also the miracle that my neighbour was needing, so that she could live out the rest of her lifetime in her own home.

My friend is not a believer, but that experience went a long way to increasing her belief in the power of prayer. It was so completely unexpected and so "out of the box" in terms of a solution, that she could only put it down to a miracle of answered prayer. Now she's saying to me that we need to pray for a similar miracle for myself!

In some ways, what she says is true. Hours of searching the internet have shown me that there is genuinely no rental house or flat listed that is not well above my total monthly income. And while everyone says that buying a home is cheaper than renting, they don't take into account the fact that even selling a three or four bedroomed house in Scotland would barely buy a studio or a one bedroomed flat in my part of Spain. I understand when my neighbour says that the only solution is another mystery benefactor to make it possible to rent or buy my new home here in Spain.

I also know, though, that God doesn't necessarily do the same miracle twice. He is infinitely creative and can answer my prayers with a completely different "out of the box" solution to my housing situation.... just as He has provided homes in so many different ways in the past.

But I'm nonetheless thankful for the "faith" of my neighbour. It tells me that my presence in this neighbourhood and our friendship over the past decade have opened her eyes to the fact that God exists and has the power to do amazing and unexpected things in answer to prayer. 

I don't yet know what the miracle will be in my present situation and, to be honest, I'm not even sure what my next steps should be. Should I go to view rooms or flats for rent, even though I know that the asking price is more than I have available? Is that the step of faith that God is asking me to take? (like the first widow I wrote about on 3rd January in this blog; see the post below this one.) 

I can only trust that the miracle God does on my behalf this time will not only strengthen my own faith, but also the slowly emerging faith of my unbelieving friends and neighbours.

The tale of two widows... the first widow: a story of flour and oil.

What I've been reflecting on this morning is not a brand new idea to me. In fact, if you scroll down on the right hand side of this web page and click on the link for August 2008, you will find my original experiences in following the example of two widows we read about in the Bible. 

In the story of the first widow, in 1 Kings 17, this lady was facing some real needs, but I saw that she stepped out with the little that she already had (some flour and oil) even though it wasn’t nearly enough... and God caused that supply to keep flowing. When the prophet Elijah asked the widow for something to eat, she didn’t say, “Sorry, I can’t help you. I don’t have enough to live on myself.” She just stepped out with that little bit of flour and oil that she already had, and God did a miracle: her flour and oil simply never ran out, but continued flowing and were always enough.

I realised, back in summer of 2008, that I’d been feeling as if my life was “on hold” - knowing that I couldn’t step out to rent a flat in Spain if I didn’t have even a reasonable percentage of the money needed to pay for it and furnish it. (I’ve lived my whole life with the principle of never getting into debt.) But I also knew that I couldn’t wait indefinitely and so, when I read this widow’s story, I felt challenged to “step out” with the resources that I already had - even if my “flour and oil” wasn't nearly enough yet - and to trust that God would keep the flow coming. It doesn’t sound a particularly responsible thing to do, but - as I’ve discovered over the past decades - steps of faith often don’t look the slightest bit responsible or logical on the surface. 

And so I stepped out and booked my plane ticket to Malaga: I was going to move down to Spain on Sunday 5th October, even though I didn't yet know where I would live, or how I would pay for it, but I knew that God was saying it was now time to take a new step of faith.

What about you? Are you facing any situations at the moment that just seem "too big" for you? At times when our "flour and oil" seem totally inadequate for the task ahead, that's when we need to remember that God is always bigger than any challenge we might face, and sometimes He asks us just to step out in simple trust and faith.

A couple of weeks after I booked that Malaga plane ticket in 2008, a relatively new friend contacted me to ask if I'd like a housemate; she was planning to move to Spain to work with the same ministry project I'd committed to. Suddenly, I only needed to be able to pay half of the rent on a house or flat and, by the time I arrived in Spain, we had found the house we'd live in for that first year in Alhaurín de la Torre.

Now, in 2023, I find myself in a strangely similar situation. I need to move to a new house this year, but I don't seem to have adequate resources to make that possible. And so I'm again asking myself: Is there a step of faith that God wants me to take this time too? Am I to step out in some way with the resources that I already have?

What about you in whatever situation or circumstance you find yourself in at the beginning of this new year? What might God be asking you to do?

Read on below to find out more about how to help miracles happen.

The tale of two widows... the second widow: a story of empty containers.

The second widow's story that I was remembering this morning is found in 2 Kings 4: 1 - 6. This woman only has “a small jar of oil” when the story begins, but the prophet Elisha tells her to go around and borrow as many empty containers as possible from her friends and neighbours. So the woman goes around everyone she knows and gathers as many jugs and jars as she can. She doesn't ask them to give her oil; she simply asks if she can borrow some empty containers. Then she starts to pour from her little jar of oil, and the oil miraculously just keeps flowing and flowing. I can imagine that this woman’s friends were just as excited as she was to hear about this miracle and to know that they had been part of making it possible.

As I prayed about this story, back in summer of 2008, I realised that I had been feeling embarrassed to keep on asking people to pray about my financial situation - about the fact that I still didn't have sufficient monthly income to cover my living costs and ministry costs when I moved to Spain. I think I was sometimes afraid that speaking about finances would offend people – that they would think I wanted them to feel sorry for me, or that they would feel manipulated and think I was “hinting” that I needed money. 

But that wasn't the case at all. I hadn't felt that God was telling me to ask anyone for money, but I did feel that I was to keep asking for prayer. We are so dependent on other people’s prayers whenever we are in times of stepping into something new, especially something that seems much “too big” for us, financially or in other ways.  In the story of the second widow, she didn’t ask her neighbours to give her the oil that she needed to live on. What she actually did was to ask them for “empty containers,” and then it was God who filled the containers for her. I felt God showed me that people’s prayers are like the “empty containers” that those neighbours gave to the woman in the story. In the NIV translation of the Bible, Elisha specifically tells the widow, “Don’t ask for just a few; ask for as many as you can.”  You see, when the containers ran out, the oil ran out too.

As I read this story, I felt God put on my heart that I was not just to ask once or twice for prayer, but I was to keep on asking for as many “empty containers” as possible; I wasn't to feel embarrassed about asking people to pray for my financial needs - because I’m not asking them for oil, I’m asking for their empty containers - and these people will share in the miracle: the blessing of seeing answered prayer when God fills the containers. 

As you read in the post above this one, the way God "filled" my empty containers in 2008 was not initially by providing more money; it was by providing another person to share the costs, and by leading us to a house rental option that was within our budget at that time. 

Nearly fifteen years later, I am again asking people for empty containers. I am asking you to join me in praying that God will guide me to the new home that I'll live in for the next season of my life and that He will provide, in whatever way, all that I'll need in order to live there.

I’m sure that the people who gave containers to the widow in the Bible story had their faith boosted by seeing God do a miracle and knowing that their containers had been part of it. If you are one of the people who has committed to partner with me in prayer, I'd like to say a really big thank you for that. I promise that I'll let you know the exciting story of how your empty containers get filled up by God this time.

A new year... a new adventure...

A new year has just begun. None of us really know what it holds in store for us, but I find security in the fact that the God I follow does know what lies ahead; I can enter the new year without fear or worry if I am walking hand in hand with Him. As I was praying on the first day of 2023, I felt that the Lord told me this year would bring me some challenges and losses, but also some times of unexpected joy. I believe He showed me that the key to walking in joy, even amidst the sorrows and losses, is to walk in intentional thankfulness. So, in my journal, I'm regularly writing down the things that I am thankful for.

Have you ever wondered why the URL of this blog is "back in Europe"? It's because I lived in Africa for almost 15 years and I began writing this new blog in the very month when I moved back to Europe. Now I've been "back in Europe" for 15 years. Sometimes I can hardly believe that I have lived in Spain for almost the same amount of time that I lived in South Africa!

I haven't written much on this blog over the past two years, choosing to communicate more on other social media platforms instead. But I'm coming into a new season of change and transition, and so I invite you to join me, and to pray with me, as I embark on a new adventure.

Read on below to find out more about the new adventure for 2023.

Not knowing what lies ahead...

When this blog first began, I was "homeless." I had just left the home I had built in South Africa, and I had no clue what lay ahead or where I would live back in Europe. Scroll down and click on those early links on the right hand side of this page. The blog posts for September and October 2007 were full of the uncertainty of not knowing what lay ahead or where my new home would be.

Before I left South Africa, I had felt that God spoke to me through a verse in Exodus 15: 27 - about how the people settled down in a place that had “twelve springs and 70 palm trees.” I had kind of a sense that it was something to do with where I would live back in Europe, but no real understanding of what it might mean. A year went by as I trusted for God's guidance and provision; then ministry opportunities led me to move to Spain and settle in the town of Alhaurín de la Torre. The name of the town comes from Arabic and means, "garden of God."

Imagine my surprise, after I’d already moved to Alhaurín, to discover that the town had been famous historically for its underground springs of water…. and that the little park around the corner from my home had exactly 70 palm trees in it. Was it just a weird coincidence or was God confirming that I had settled in the right place?  

I've now lived in Alhaurín de la Torre for 14 years, and the town has become home to me. For 13 of those years, I have lived in the same house (the longest I have lived in one place during my decades as a missionary) and I have built lots of friendships in the neighbourhood as I've reached out to share God's love with my neighbours who don't know the Lord.

At first, I rented the house with a South American friend and her daughter. Then, when they moved out to start a home of their own, my generous landlord allowed me to continue living in the house and to continue paying only half of the rent, as I had done up till then. (I see this as a miracle of God's provision, because the full rent was more than my total monthly income, and it would have been impossible for me to stay there.)

That amazing season has come to an end. My landlord has other plans for the house in 2023 and has told me that I will need to move out within the next two months. After thirteen wonderful years, I now find myself "homeless" again, and am beginning the process of looking for a new place to live.

So I begin 2023 not knowing where I'm going to be living this year. Read on below to discover some of the faith challenges that this adventure brings.

Expecting the impossible...

One of the intergenerational outreach teams I led with KKI in South Africa had the theme of, "Expect the Impossible!" Even though it was a long time ago, I still have my team T-shirt from that time of summer evangelism.

 "Expect the Impossible" had to become kind of a motto for me when I moved back to Europe. You see, during my last decade in South Africa, I had lived on a regular income of around £200 a month. It was a unique window of time where prices were low in South Africa; the currency was decreasing in value and the favourable exchange rate of the pound to the rand meant that my missions support didn’t really need to increase for that whole decade.  When I returned to Europe in 2007, it was a huge shock to realise that no one can live on just £200 a month in a European setting. I would need to see my income double or even triple in order to be able to move to Spain and find a home there in 2008. Not only would the rent alone be more than my total income at the time, most rental houses were unfurnished and so I would also need enough money to furnish the place.

Yesterday, 1st January 2023, I had a sinking sense of déjà vu as I began the process of scrolling through estate agents' websites in search of a new place to stay. Even the tiniest of places (one-roomed "studios" with no separate bedroom or kitchen) have a rental cost that is more than my current monthly income! I realised that my landlord's incredible generosity over the past seven or eight years has given me a completely false impression of the true costs of housing.

A Spanish friend told me it's generally cheaper to buy than to rent. Of course, that would be a total impossibility on my income - and, even if I did have more income, it's impossible to get a mortgage when you're in your sixties. But I took a look at houses for sale, anyway, just to confirm if my friend's information was true. 

Well, it probably is true, but my sense of impossibility only increased even further when I saw that a one bedroom flat in Alhaurín would cost the same as a three bedroom house in South Africa.

And so, here I am again - setting off on an adventure of expecting God to do the impossible. I don't know what that will look like. (Will I amazingly find another home with a fairly low rent? Will God provide money in another way? Will there be a new housemate to share costs?) I have no idea what to expect. All I know is that I can trust God as I set out on this new adventure.

Watch this space!