He began by saying that he, and all the medical staff on the ward, are amazed that Dad has made it this far. Just a few weeks ago, most people felt that he wasn't strong enough to survive and that he probably only had a few hours left to live. Today, the doctor's position was that, "Now he has a much better chance of ever coming out of hospital than he had three weeks ago." Just about everything is heading in the right direction now and Dad might be on the way to recovery, "as long as there are no further steps backward." There's hope that they might be able to wean him from the ventilator within the next couple of weeks, and then the main challenges would be waiting for the wound to heal, for the infection to clear totally, and for Dad to start building up his strength again.
The doctor told us that it is very unusual for someone to be in intensive care for as long as my Dad has been (although they do have one patient at the moment who has been there for nearly a year!) and so there are very few families who have had to face the sort of long-term uncertainty and trauma that we've been through over the past few weeks. He proceeded to give us a rather long speech about research that had been done on the longer-term consequences for family members who have had to live through the roller coaster ride of having a family member so close to death for such an extended period of time. Exhaustion, depression, sleeplessness, mood swings and poor nutrition were among the things that have been documented, and he wanted to encourage us, the other family members, to consider seeking a GP's help if we noticed that we were suffering from any of these symptoms. (When I think of all we've experienced as a family over the past month, I can understand that family members of long term ICU patients could be affected in this negative way, especially if they don't know the Lord and can't draw on His peace and strength during such a difficult and uncertain time. I can see how incredibly hard this time is for my Mum, even though she knows she is being upheld by so many people's prayers.)
The doctor also spoke to us about the possible long term effects on the relatively few patients who manage to survive what Dad has been through. (Fewer than 20% of patients survive multi-organ failure caused by severe sepsis, and that statistic is even lower for the very young or the elderly.) Some struggle to come to terms with the long term weakness and tiredness that they experience; it can take up to a year to get your strength back, and patients will never totally be as strong as they were before the toxic shock. Some patients may lose interest in life and struggle with depression, with post-traumatic stress or with flashbacks like those known by Vietnam war veterans. Some may have memory problems or may struggle with confused memories of what they have been through.
In fact, Dad has already spoken to us about how painful and terrifying the hallucinations were. He said it was so frightening that he thought he was going out of his mind, and he couldn't understand why people were coming and were doing terrible things to him. In some of his memories, he was on a boat (one nurse told us that many patients report this, and that it may be caused partly by the movement of the air mattress they are on) and was being chased and attacked by wild animals. "You were there too," he told my Mum. "Was I chasing you?" she asked. Then he smiled and quipped, "Oh, you stopped chasing me a long time ago!" He's not having any flashbacks, though, and seems to be fully aware that what he experienced wasn't real. His main struggle is with the tiredness and the constant discomfort. Tomorrow is his 83rd birthday, and I so much hope that he can have some relief from the pain on that day.
As things stand at the moment, doctors are not yet at the point where they'll say that Dad will definitely recover and will ever come out of hospital. But they are saying openly that they are all amazed that he managed to survive those first weeks and that he has come this far and managed to make so many improvements in recent days. The two main sources of concern at the moment are:
- that Dad has no appetite and hasn't really been eating for more than a month now. (He's being fed by a tube through his nose.) It would be really good to see him begin to eat one or two things over the coming days.
- that he is still so very weak and doesn't yet have use of his arms and legs. He's having physiotherapy every day, but is making only slow progress because he's so weak. We pray that he will begin to get more control of his arms and legs and perhaps even be able to stand up (with help) over the coming week.
The other things that still need to happen are:
- for his wound to heal (this will take a long time, because it couldn't be stitched closed and has to heal slowly from the inside out.)
- for the underlying infection, and any hidden source of bleeding to clear up completely. Doctors were giving him another blood transfusion tonight because his haemoglobin count is still low, and that's a source of concern.
We don't know what lies ahead for Dad or for us... and it sounds as if the doctors really don't know either. But what we do know is that God is good and can be trusted in every situation. If you are one of the people who has been praying for Dad and for us during this time, we want to tell you how thankful we are for your support, and we pray that the Lord will also bless and encourage you in whatever situations you might be facing in your own life during these last weeks of 2011.
