This week I began to notice something else that was rather strange: every day, when we were driving to the hospital, I noticed that I had a bad taste in my mouth. I realised that the strange chemical taste at the back of my throat was coming from the drops that I had just put into my eyes. I had been aware that our ears, nose and throat are interconnected, but - not being much of an anatomy student - I hadn't realised that what I put in my eyes can also end up in my mouth. Sure enough, the leaflet in the box explains that the tear duct which drains tears to your nose can also drain some fluid from your eyes to your throat.
Today is the last day of the year. In Scotland, we call it "Hogmanay" and, for me personally, it's always a time when I look back to evaluate the year that is ending, and look forward in anticipation of what God has for me in the year that lies ahead. There have been a few times in recent years that I stood at the end of an old year without a clear vision or knowledge of what the new year held in store. On Hogmanay 2007, I had just left Africa and moved back to Europe, and I still didn't know which country I'd be living in for the coming years. On Hogmanay 2008, I knew that Spain was to be my new home, but I was asking God some questions about ministry priorities and commitments for the next few years. On Hogmanay 2009, we had just "lost" the house we'd planned to rent the following year, and I knew I'd be returning to Spain to start house hunting again. On Hogmanay 2010, it was very nice to move into a new year without wondering where I'd be living at the end of it! But I'd been having increasing pain from arthritis and was in a season of seeing Spanish doctors regularly for x-rays and other tests to determine what could perhaps be done to offset the discomfort of the joint degeneration...
I think it's probably true for all of us that we begin every year with one or two questions about what the future might hold for us. Usually there are some things that are certain and predictable, but there are other things, both good and bad, that we simply cannot foresee with our human eyes and understanding. What security there is in knowing that we can draw on God's wisdom and can rest in the knowledge that He goes before us, each step of the way. How important it is to take time to listen to Him and find out His vision, goals and priorities for our lives, so that we can move into the future, knowing that we are prepared even for the unprepared and unpredictable. As I discovered this week, having blurry vision can leave you with a bad taste in your mouth!
So here we are at the end of 2011. When the year began, we never imagined that we would spend most of the last two months of it in hospital wards. And as those months went by, the doctors told us again and again that 2011 would be my Dad's last year here on earth. But now we stand on the cusp of another new year. As we begin this year, we can't foresee what it holds for us. We can't even predict how long Dad will be in hospital or when he'll really start eating and walking for himself again. As I return to Spain next week, I do know some things about what lies ahead and what ministry projects I'll be involved in... but there are also some question marks and some areas where I'm not totally sure what to expect. That's why I find security in the words of an old song that I heard when I was a teenager. It says: We don't know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future.
Happy New Year to you and all that you love at this time.
