When Jesus asked Philip, "Where can we buy food to feed all these people?" Philip's answer was the logical, practical, sensible one. He made a quick calculation in his head and he said, "Lord, it would take eight months wages to buy enough food for this many people." The underlying assumption was: it's impossible; we just don't have enough.
How often do we have that same attitude in our lives, and especially in the faith challenges that we face. We look at the challenge, we look at our own resources, and we say, with the conviction of realism: we don't have enough money, we don't have enough people.... or whatever. Sometimes we look at our own resources and we feel totally inadequate; we say, "I could never do that." Philip takes that realistic approach, and we can't really blame him for that; it's the natural response.
In contrast, there's a little boy in the crowd who somehow knows of the dilemma. We don't know exactly how it happened, but it seems he came and offered his picnic lunch to Jesus. I'm sure he was old enough to recognise that it wasn't nearly enough, but he seems to have had an attitude of, "At least I can offer the little that I have. Perhaps every little helps."
And then there's another disciple, Andrew. Perhaps he's the one that the child spoke to. He brings the boy to Jesus and says optimistically, "Here's a boy with five bread rolls and two little fish." Perhaps he felt foolish doing it, because he quickly adds, "What good is that with such a large crowd?" I suspect that Andrew felt torn between the hope that Jesus could do something amazing and the harsh reality that what they had to offer was totally insufficient. If you've been a Christian for any length of time, you'll have faced that dilemma: you hope that Jesus will do something special, but your inner voice tells you that the resources aren't enough, that you aren't enough.
Of course, we all know the end of the story: Jesus took the little they had to offer and did something incredible with it. I'm challenged when I think of how often I tend to have Philip's realistic attitude instead of John's hopeful attitude or the little boy's sacrificial attitude. Perhaps I'd see more miracles if I were more willing to bring my "insufficient" loaves and fishes to the table.
So this week, as I prepare to teach in the upcoming Spanish coaching workshop, I once again find myself very conscious of my foreign accent or my imperfect use of formal language. (I speak Spanish fluently and have no problem chatting with neighbours and getting by in all kinds of situations, but I don't often have to use my Spanish in a formal teaching situation.)
And so I make the decision to take yet another step of faith and to bring the "loaves and fishes" of my Spanish to Jesus, knowing that, as He's done before, He will take it and use it to bring good fruit.
What situations are you facing in 2020? Where do you feel that your resources are insufficient or that what you have to offer is inadequate? Bring your offering to Jesus anyway. He can take something small and use it to achieve something big.
