This week I finished reading the book of Numbers and began reading the book of Deuteronomy. The book is structured around three sermons or speeches that Moses made to the people of Israel while they were camped in the wilderness, just to the east of the River Jordan. He talks to them about their past and also about their future.In this first chapter of Deuteronomy, we discover that the journey from Mount Sinai (where the people received the 10 Commandments) to the border of the Promised Land would normally have been a journey of only 11 days. Instead, they had wandered in the desert for 40 whole years, and Moses wants this new generation of Israelites to understand why.
And so he retells the story of the people's unbelief and rebellion when spies went to scout out the land forty years previously. He wants them to know that this long delay was not God's fault, but theirs.... and now they have a chance to do things differently.
As my home-hunting journey drags on and on, I regularly ask the Lord if there's anything I'm doing or anything I'm not doing that is causing this long delay. I've been searching for eight months and I've been homeless for almost six months. Why is it taking so long to find that most basic of human needs - a place to live?
I've sought to be sensitive and obedient to God right from the beginning of this process, but I think it's still important to stop and evaluate regularly. Am I still on track? Am I still being radically obedient to each next step that He shows me? Is there anything more I should be doing to make the breakthrough come closer and faster?
Yes, I know that dozens, even hundreds of people are in the same position as I am, but it's still my responsibility to be faithful to what God is sharing and showing in this difficult time. I won't be held accountable for how others respond, but I am responsible for what I personally do or don't do during this process.
Reading in the Old Testament Psalms this morning, I came to Psalm 130 vs 5, which says: I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.
I've often had to wait for answers to prayer; that happens to all of us and there are many possible reasons for why it happens. But being homeless is a more vulnerable kind of waiting than I have ever known in the past. This morning I prayed, "Lord, please don't let me slip into hopelessness as well as homelessness: help me to keep putting my trust in who You are and in what You've said. Give me resilience to wait for the solution that You're going to provide amidst this crazy social and economic phenomenon of widespread shortage of housing. Let me never embrace unbelief like the people of Israel did, but help me to trust always in your love and faithfulness."
