It’s equally true that when we don’t pray, things we hoped for don’t in fact happen. We read this in James 4:8, which says, “You don’t have what you want because you don’t ask for it.” I experienced this very obviously through two things that happened in 2024…
Last summer, I travelled to West Africa to teach in a youth ministry training course. Knowing that luggage can often get lost in transit on flights to and from small African airports, I asked people if they would pray that my baggage would arrive safely and on time. Well, I arrived safely in Togo, but my luggage didn’t. I had to wear borrowed clothes for my first few days of teaching, and when the suitcase finally did arrive, my gifts of European cheese for my African hosts had melted into greasy lumps.
When news of the lost suitcase filtered out, one or two people got in touch with me to ask for my forgiveness. “You asked us to pray about your baggage,” said one, “and I really intended to, but I forgot. I’m so sorry.” While those who forgot to pray can’t be held responsible for the lost luggage, it was nonetheless a reminder that committed prayer can make a big difference to everyday situations and lack of prayer can equally have an effect on the outcome.
A similar thing happened towards the end of the year. In my December newsletter, I wrote about the fact that I had been homeless and searching for a place to live for two whole years. Almost immediately, a handful of people got in touch to confess that they’d actually failed to pray about my housing situation - it had dragged on for such a long time, that they had found it hard to persevere in prayer, but they and others promised me their renewed prayers during December. Within two days, I had two housing options - one of them being the rental flat that I moved into this week. Further evidence that lack of prayer can delay what God wants to do, but concentrated prayer can quickly make a difference.
Perhaps the biggest learning curve for me, however, was the solemn realisation that the wrong kind of prayer can actually be just as negative as no prayer at all. “What?” you say, “Can prayer ever be wrong?”
In the middle of last year, one day in May, I was contacted by two rather prophetic friends from another country. “When we were praying for you," they said, “We felt that God led us to break the power of soulish prayers over your life.”
Soulish prayers? What on earth is that about?
I understand the difference between the soul and the spirit. The soul is often defined as our mind, will and emotions: our own thoughts, desires and feelings. The spirit, on the other hand, is to do with our conscience and intuition; that part of ourselves that allows us to commune with God and hear His voice. In fact, when we speak on our leadership development courses about spiritual leadership, we often challenge the leaders to evaluate whether they are leading from their soul or whether they are truly leading from their spirit, inspired by the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
We read in Hebrews 4:12
that one function of the Bible, the Word of God, is to help us distinguish between what is from the soul and what is from the spirit.
So, what did they mean by “soulish” prayers, I asked my friends. In fact, it’s been written about by some well known Christian authors. Soulish prayers are when we pray according to our own ideas and understanding, our own desires and hopes, rather than allowing the Holy Spirit to direct our prayers so that we will pray things that are God’s will. My friends said they felt that a well intentioned person or persons were praying things that they themselves believed to be right, but that were not God’s will for my life, and this was having a negative effect on my search for a new home.
We’ll never know exactly what it was. Perhaps someone was praying that I wouldn’t find a home in Spain… or perhaps it was simply that one or more people were praying for me to do something different, something that wasn’t in fact what God had for me.
It reminded me of a classmate that I knew in University. This person had great admiration for a young man in our year and had convinced herself that God wanted her to have a relationship with, and ultimately to marry, this man. She continued to pray in that direction over a period of some eighteen months. When the young man in question finally married someone else, she was forced to accept that marrying him was not in fact something that would happen in her future. Not too long after that, she got engaged to another young man who had in fact been a “best friend” of hers since the first year of university. Looking back, she realised that her obsession with the first young man and her “wrong” prayers about a relationship with him, had probably prevented her from seeing what was obvious all along: that she already had a wonderful developing relationship with the man who is now her husband. No doubt her soulish prayers prevented her from seeing and experiencing it sooner.
A similar impression was shared with me around November, and I personally took the step of breaking the power of any soulish prayers over my life and future. It was only a few weeks later that I found the apartment where I have now begun to live.
I have always believed in the power of prayer (even when sometimes I don’t seem to see the things I am praying for.) I have also always believed that lack of prayer can delay God’s purposes in a town, a church, in a family or in an individual’s life. But over the past year I gained a new understanding and respect for the fact that the wrong kind of prayer can actually have a negative effect rather than just a neutral one.
Perhaps that is why even Jesus Himself, when praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, said, “Not my will, but yours be done, Father.” If Jesus was aware of the danger of soulish prayer, how much more important is it for us, His followers, to be wise and discerning in how we pray.
We’ll never know exactly what it was. Perhaps someone was praying that I wouldn’t find a home in Spain… or perhaps it was simply that one or more people were praying for me to do something different, something that wasn’t in fact what God had for me.
It reminded me of a classmate that I knew in University. This person had great admiration for a young man in our year and had convinced herself that God wanted her to have a relationship with, and ultimately to marry, this man. She continued to pray in that direction over a period of some eighteen months. When the young man in question finally married someone else, she was forced to accept that marrying him was not in fact something that would happen in her future. Not too long after that, she got engaged to another young man who had in fact been a “best friend” of hers since the first year of university. Looking back, she realised that her obsession with the first young man and her “wrong” prayers about a relationship with him, had probably prevented her from seeing what was obvious all along: that she already had a wonderful developing relationship with the man who is now her husband. No doubt her soulish prayers prevented her from seeing and experiencing it sooner.
A similar impression was shared with me around November, and I personally took the step of breaking the power of any soulish prayers over my life and future. It was only a few weeks later that I found the apartment where I have now begun to live.
I have always believed in the power of prayer (even when sometimes I don’t seem to see the things I am praying for.) I have also always believed that lack of prayer can delay God’s purposes in a town, a church, in a family or in an individual’s life. But over the past year I gained a new understanding and respect for the fact that the wrong kind of prayer can actually have a negative effect rather than just a neutral one.
Perhaps that is why even Jesus Himself, when praying in the Garden of Gethsemane, said, “Not my will, but yours be done, Father.” If Jesus was aware of the danger of soulish prayer, how much more important is it for us, His followers, to be wise and discerning in how we pray.
