A break in the mountain heights...

There's a verse in the Bible - Habakkuk 3: 19 - where the prophet proclaims: "The Sovereign Lord is my strength. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer. He enables me to walk on the mountain heights."

That proclamation of victory was made at a time when everything in Habakkuk's world was falling apart. His people and his nation were in a mess and he was calling out for God's help. Amidst the seeming hopelessness, he declares in the final few verses of that third chapter that he is going to rejoice in God and trust Him no matter what.

Amidst the various pressures I've faced in recent weeks: losing my home, losing my Dad, battling pneumonia... it seemed fitting last weekend that I could spend just a couple of hours "on the mountain heights," enjoying the beauty of God's creation.

Sunday was the day of the famous annual Pinsapo mountain trail race - a route that takes runners through the forest and across the mountains of Andalucía. Some friends and neighbours of mine had signed up as runners, one doing the 29½ km marathon that has an altitude difference of 1700m and two others doing the 16½ km route that involved a climb of 800m.

And then there was the lazy version for those of us "in recovery" (Maiki recovering from a tummy bug, and I still coughing with the aftermath of the pneumonia). The dogs and I took a leisurely 7½ km walk around the village of Yunquera, out through the olive groves and up to some lookout points with beautiful views. We had an altitude change of only 140m, but we had a big temperature change from 9° in the early morning to 23° at lunch time.

What a joy it was, amidst the pressure of impending homelessness, to be able to take just a few hours away from the craziness, to breathe in the mountain air and to remember that God's goal is for us to experience the victory of walking in the high places.

Coping with the countdown...

Sometimes, in American movies, there's a character who is "living out of their car." It always seems like something not from real life: how could someone genuinely have nowhere to go?

In a small way, I'm beginning to have a sense of what that would be like. No, it's not that I'm contemplating living in my car (it's too tiny, anyway), nor is it that I have nowhere to go. (I have friends who could take me in temporarily, and options with family or friends in other countries.) It's just that I have that sense of having reached a complete dead end when it comes to finding a new home here in my town.. (or nearby towns.)

This week, my priority will be packing just about everything I own into boxes. It'll probably mean having throw out or give away things that I would otherwise have wanted to keep, because you can't afford to hang on to stuff when you're in the position of having to look for a place to store it all. I'll be looking for storage options this week: a garage or storage unit that isn't damp or mouldy and doesn't cost too much... Various friends and neighbours have said they would have room to store a few boxes or suitcases.... but I'll need to find a solution for all my furniture... (and I shudder when I hear the experience of missionary friends whose family belongings have been in storage for three years, because they could only find a furnished accommodation option.)

Packing things up and throwing things out will both be part of the countdown. Then will come the cleaning of the old house and the finding of temporary accommodation. The dog will be fine, but I'll need to come up with ways of keeping the cat safe in a temporary and not ideal situation...

And amidst the pressure of a countdown.... I'll keep investigating more permanent solutions and hoping perhaps for a last minute reprieve. This is a perplexing season to be in...

Time is running out...

 

Today I got really bad news. The owner of my house told me today that I need to leave the house completely empty at the end of this month... because they've already made an arrangement with another family.

If you've read recent posts on this blog, you'll know I had already begun to accept the likelihood that I will have to find some kind of short term accommodation while I continue the so-far-unsuccessful search for a new place to live... but I had hoped to be able to leave my furniture in the old house. The owner had said that would be okay...

However, I'm already a month past the moving out date, and leaving the furniture behind is no longer possible now. It means that (unless some completely unforeseen breakthrough happens very soon) I'll need to look for a solution to store my furniture while I'm looking for a place to live... and I'll probably need to find some kind of short term accommodation while continuing the search for something more permanent…..

I have no understanding of why there's been no breakthrough yet. I've been taking all the steps that God has shown me, and various other people who have been praying for me have sent me prayer impressions that confirmed the things I was sensing myself....

So it's a bit of a vulnerable time, as I'll be literally homeless in just a few days. I value your prayers that I'll have wisdom as I continue to move forward and continue to wait for a miracle.

Life on hold - musings of a temporary nomad...?

Since writing my last post a few days ago, I've slowly been getting used to the idea of looking for my new home in other towns, instead of here in Alhaurín de la Torre where I've lived for the past fourteen years. All my friends and neighbours tell me that it's just a bad time of year to be house hunting - that there are always more options after the summer. 

I'm still running into this new legal obstacle that they won't give you a rental contract (won't even let you view the property) if you can't prove that your "salary" is at least three times the amount of the rental. That's totally crazy, and impossible for me... so I'm more usually looking at places for sale than for rent and realising that this is likely going to be the sort of miracle I have to have faith for.... 

I'm only too aware, though, that property purchase, and especially overseas property purchase, isn't something that happens quickly. The process can drag on for months (or even years, as friends of mine here in town are discovering!) I'm having to contemplate the very real possibility of needing to find a temporary solution until the more permanent solution is sorted out. 

A friend with a dog has said I could stay in the tiny spare room in her flat until I find my permanent home. Another friend - with two doberman dogs - has offered that I could stay in a yurt (a Central Asian tent-like structure; see photo above) on her property for a few months... 

I'm grateful for people's offers of help, but the trouble with these temporary solutions is that they offer no security to my elderly cat. I kind of feel that my life is "on hold," as it's hard to contemplate making my planned ministry trip in May if it means that I'm leaving my cat in a tent with two dobermans roaming around outside. (One of them already killed a cat a few years ago.) And I'm not convinced by some other people's proposed solution that I just need to put Teddi to sleep. As I wrote already on 21st January, I don't believe that I should have to kill my cat in order to find a new home!

So, this rather perplexing process continues. It seems that the two most obvious steps on the horizon are:

a) finding a little place to purchase, rather then to rent

b) having to find a temporary solution until the permanent one falls into place.

Thank you for your prayers, and thanks also to those of you who have sent me Bible verses or impressions that came to you in prayer.
 

Which way to turn... wisdom needed!

Here we are, half way through March, and my search for a new home just seems to be running into an endless succession of closed doors and dead ends.

I search daily on real estate websites, I phone to make an appointment to view a house or flat.... and they tell me that I am "not eligible" - that I don't meet the requirements. (In other words, they won't let me a view a flat that costs €1000 a month unless I can prove that my income is €3000 a month... As my monthly support hovers around the £700 mark, this of course is impossible for me to do.)

I look on WhatsApp forums to see if other missionaries in the region are looking for a house mate or renting out a room in their flat.... but again there are few or no options - other than the occasional offer of a short term room rental on the other side of Malaga, 30 miles away.

I know that God is faithful and there must be something for me somewhere, but trying to find it is becoming demoralising. Is there something else I should be doing, some action step that I haven't already taken over the past three months? I'm only too aware of the time ticking by with still no viable option on the horizon.

It was with a heavy heart that today I began expanding my home-hunting search to smaller towns and villages further inland. I'm only too aware of the huge implications of moving 20 miles away from everything and everyone that I've known for the past decade and a half... but, if I'm to continue living in Spain beyond the end of this month (which is what I believe God has put on my heart) I have no other wisdom than to start looking for solutions further afield. I have to do "the possible," even as I continue to hope and pray that the impossible might still happen closer to home.

Please would you pray with me for wisdom, that I would know if there are other steps I should be taking in order to see a breakthrough in this perplexing situation. Thank you. 

A wonderful encounter...

I can hardly believe that I've been back in Spain for less than a week. It's been an incredibly fully week, largely due to the LDE - the online leadership development encounter.

We were 105 people connecting every day for this short and intensive leadership seminar. Almost 90 participants had signed up for the course, which meant that we needed a staff team (pictured above) of 18 people to give the teachings, lead the small processing groups and meet with individual students for personal mentoring and prayer.

Sadly, my coughing and ongoing breathing difficulties meant that I had to withdraw from giving any teaching (I was supposed to teach on the Monday and Friday) but I still enjoyed participating in class every day and working with a small group of ladies from different nations.

The students came mainly from different parts of Europe, Africa, North and South America. In my process group I had missionary leaders from Albania, Morocco, France, Greece and Brazil.

Now that the teaching part of the LDE is completed, the second week will consist mainly of homework assignments and the one-to-one mentoring times. Then, during the third week, I will wrap up all the paperwork with the University and send out the course completion certificates to the 40 students who opted to do the course for academic credits.

The most encouraging thing of all, however, is that those 87 participants will be applying biblical leadership principles with their missionary staff teams in dozens of different nations, and this will make a considerable impact for the advancement of the Kingdom of God in those locations.

A challenging season... and a breath prayer

It's been almost a month since I was able to post on this blog; life took a few more unexpected turns. First, we got word that we had to move out of our temporary accommodation and move into Mum's new home in Grangemouth. This left us completely without internet, as it would only be installed there in early March. To complicate matters even more, on the day of the move I woke up with pneumonia. A round the clock cough dragged on despite four doctor's visits, two weeks of antibiotics and various other medications. This meant it was hard for me to get out and use the wifi in another location, like the local supermarket.

At one point I got concerned that the debilitating cough would prevent me from being able to give the eulogy at Dad's funeral, which was scheduled for 3rd March (my brother's 60th birthday!) Mum was also coughing by this time, which suggested that there was also a virus involved. Fortunately, a codeine cough syrup helped suppress our coughs so that they weren't a distraction during the memorial service... which was a precious time of remembering and celebrating Dad's life. He was 94 when he died, and only weeks away from celebrating his 70th wedding anniversary with Mum.

I flew back to Spain on 5th March - with wheelchair assistance, as I was still very weak and coughing a lot. I'm coughing a little less as the week progresses, but still having a lot of breathing difficulties. Yesterday, walking back from the veterinary clinic, I could hardly make it up the hill and had to keep stopping to sit down on a bench. Yes, we were at the vet. Amidst my own coughing and spluttering, Maiki has been really ill all week with some kind of gastroenteritis, culminating in our needing to go to the vet yesterday and again today. Teddi, thankfully, seems fine.

And so I'm back in Alhaurín - and still in the house that I was supposed to move out of at the end of February. The search for a new home is being renewed, and I'm continuing to pack all my belongings into boxes and suitcases. I have to confess to feeling a little bit vulnerable now that we're already past the deadline for my moving out of this house, and I'm extremely grateful for your renewed prayers that I will very soon find a place to stay.

Have you heard of "breath prayers"? They're a simple practice that has been common throughout church history and we read about them in the life stories of ancient saints and church fathers. A way of "praying without ceasing," they're basically a short prayer that can be spoken out within just one breath. Perhaps one of the most well known breath prayers in the Bible is the prayer of the tax collector, found in Luke 18: 13 - "God have mercy on me, a sinner." Some ancient church traditions, like the Orthodox and the Catholic Church, use a slightly longer version - “Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” - calling it the Jesus prayer and using it while praying the rosary.

A breath prayer typically consists of: a) a name of God, and b) a verb, that expresses c) a desire.

Lord Jesus, help me reflect your love to others.

Prince of Peace, fill me with your peace and joy.

Father God, help me to know you more.

Holy Spirit, increase my faith for miracles and answers to prayer.

Because a breath prayer is so short, it's easy to memorise it and to pray it out dozens of times during the day. 

My friend Rite, who used to live here in Spain, but moved to Canada a couple of years ago, sent me this photo today. She told me that she currently has a breath prayer asking the Lord to provide a new home for me: "Lord, please open a door for Barbara." She works a lot with pre-school children and likes to have something visual to represent what she is praying for in her own life. So she made this little house (with an open door) and has it sitting on her desk. Whenever she sees it throughout the day, she prays, "Lord, open a door for Barbara."

In this post-pneumonia season, when my breathing is laboured and each breath is very short, this is a good breath prayer for me too: "Father, I trust you to open a door for me!"

If you think of me over these coming days, I invite you to join with Rite's breath prayer or to create one of your own. I am grateful for your prayers as I trust God for a miracle. Thank you!