Who will move the stone for us?

In my prayer times this week, I've been telling the Lord that I feel at the end of my resources; that I feel I need someone stronger to help me/us shift the obstacles as I face two seemingly impossible situations - one with our house in Scotland and the other with my lack of a house here in Spain. So an Easter devotional, emailed to me yesterday by a friend, really caught my attention, because it was about some women who were asking the very same question.

In Mark 16: 1 - 4, we read a short account of three women, two Marys and Salome, who - after an emotionally stressful week -were making their way to the garden tomb. I can only imagine how grief-stricken and disappointed they were feeling. Despite all that had happened in that emotionally charged week, despite all the things that Jesus Himself had said about dying, perhaps they'd been hoping that it wouldn't really come to that.

But it had: there had been no eleventh hour reprieve, and Jesus was dead now. Their loss was real and painful, and so they were making their way to the tomb to anoint the body for a proper burial. And as they walked, they were asking each other, "Who will roll away the stone for us?" because they knew that they weren't strong enough and were incapable of doing it themselves.

That's what I've been asking this week - with regard to both my Spanish and my Scottish situation. "Who can move away these obstacles that, despite three months of time and effort, I am not strong enough or capable enough to do for myself?"

Of course, in the Bible passage and in the devotional sent to me, when the women get to the tomb, they discover that the stone has already been rolled aside. God has been at work, even when the women were unaware of it.

This morning I asked the Lord whether the experience of those women is something that I can take as a promise for myself. Is He already working in the background to remove the challenges that right now seem insurmountable to me? Right now, I'm only seeing the lack of breakthroughs, the huge "rock" in my path, and I'm asking, "Who will move this huge obstacle out of the way?"

There's a Bible verse, 2 Corinthians 5 vs 7, that says we walk by faith and not by sight. I'm very aware of not walking by sight at the moment: there seems to be no way forward, no end in sight. This morning I read another devotional that was about clinging to the Father's hand, even when the journey feels overwhelming and the path ahead of us is veiled in uncertainty; it was about trusting that the Lord really is guiding our steps, even when those steps start to feel random to us.

"Though you may not know the way you should go, you do know the One who is the Way," wrote the author... and, "Talk with me about your uncertainty, your fear of making wrong decisions."

I'm part of a mission that is known worldwide for placing value on the priority of hearing and obeying God's voice. I believe that one of the most important things we can teach our children and youth is how to recognise the voice of God...

Yet, after three months of seeing no breakthrough in these two housing situations, it's easy to start wondering if you've misunderstood what you heard and to be concerned that you might be making some wrong decisions along the way.

One decision that can never be wrong, however, is the choice to keep clinging to God's hand and to walk step by step with Him.

When I was googling pictures of the tomb - to illustrate this blog post - almost all of the pictures showed a tomb with a large stone rolled to the side, exposing an open doorway and the evidence of a risen Jesus. It was hard to find a photo that showed the stone as an obstacle still blocking the doorway. We rightly focus on the events of that Sunday morning and the victory that we will celebrate this coming Easter weekend. We don't like to dwell on the events of the Saturday, when death seemed final and the tomb was tightly sealed.

Right now, I feel as if I'm living through that "Easter Saturday," where the stone is still a weighty barrier and there's been no exciting miracle yet... All that I know to do is hold God's hand as I continue this rather perplexing journey.

Seeking first the Kingdom..

If you've moved in Christian circles for any length of time. there's a good chance that you can recite Matthew 6: 33 by heart. The verse contains words that were spoken by Jesus Himself: "Seek first God's kingdom and His righteousness, and all these other things will be given to you as well." 

What are "all the other things" that Jesus was referring to? In the context, if you read verses 25 - 32, He's speaking about life's basic needs: what you will eat and drink, what clothes you will wear, where you will live...  Jesus is saying that if we make the Kingdom of God our primary focus, our Heavenly Father will make sure that we have all of those other things too.

So, yesterday in my morning prayer time, I was telling the Lord that it's beginning to feel as if this verse is turned on its head. The process of finding a new place to live is dominating so much of my time and energy, that it's beginning to feel as if it's "stealing" time that could otherwise be dedicated to ministry, to extending the Kingdom of God.

For example, I'm supposed to be going to Switzerland in May to teach in a training school for ministry with children, youth and families. The arrangement was made in the middle of last year... but now I'm in a situation where I can't confirm my plane ticket to Switzerland because of my "homeless" status here in Spain. I can't simply take off to another country, leaving my worldly belongings in someone's garage and my pets in someone's spare room!!

So, it's hard. I want the Kingdom of God to be my primary focus, but the very real need of a place to live keeps creeping in and demanding major attention. I pray with all my heart that the situation will soon be resolved and that I can get on with doing more of the things that God has called me to do.

Camping in the place of springs...

I am very thankful to God and to my missionary hostess that I have a place to live during the month of April. With the rather tumultuous move now behind us, we're beginning to settle into our temporary home.

Maiki (the dog) is enjoying, for the first time in her life, having a garden to run and play in. Teddi (the cat) on the other hand, is only slowly getting his confidence back. The move really disrupted his safe little world, and for all of the first day he huddled catatonic (no pun intended) under a chair. He's beginning to venture out a little bit now and, although he spends most of his time hiding under the bed, today he made it obvious that he wanted to see out of the window. I realised that the poor boy had no idea of where he was; at his old home he could lie on the balcony and watch the world go by in the street below... but now, for several scary days, he had never seen outside of the strange new house we brought him to.  So, this morning, while I was reading my Bible, I let him look out at the neighbourhood from my high up bedroom window.

As for me, I feel a little bit as if I'm still camping: my clothes are in suitcases and boxes; I had to go down to the garage to hunt for my nail clippers; my coffee machine is sitting in the bathroom; I bought only three potatoes at the supermarket because I have nowhere to store a whole bag; I can't find the chondroitin tablets I take to relieve my arthritis....

Don't get me wrong! I'm not complaining at all. I am very thankful for a place to stay. I'm just also very aware of the fact that this is only temporary and that the search for my "real home" needs to continue throughout this month.

Life feels "on hold," but not all ministry is on hold. Today we begin the online "children at risk" training course that will continue regularly over the next six months. Other coaching appointments, leadership meetings and outreach planning times are all continuing amidst the "camping." 

This morning, I happened to read the Bible verse that says, "My times are in your hands." (Psalm 31: 15) A sidebar devotional spoke about God being in charge of the "timing" in our lives; about how we can trust Him with both the "whats" and the "whens." I do trust Him, but I also realise that trusting the timing is more challenging when there are deadlines hanging over you. I choose to walk in His peace and not to give place to worry or panic today.

Maiki goes to church...

It's Palm Sunday, a sunny and very windy day here in southern Spain. My host and some of her friends walked into town, to drink coffee there and watch the Palm Sunday procession, only the first of many elaborate processions that will happen here during Holy Week. 

Maiki and I walked to the town centre with them, but then we headed back to the house again so that I could get ready for church. I looked around the house, though, and suddenly thought perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to leave Maiki "home alone" on her first day in a new place. Several of the doors here have beautiful door stops that look like stuffed animals - a chicken, a dog, a deer... I didn't want to think that Maiki would start exploring, mistake these animals for new toys and joyfully begin to rip their insides out (as she tends to do with teddy bears and other fluffy toys.) The only solution was to leave Teddi home alone and to take Maiki to church with me!!

And so, Maiki went to her first church service today. She behaved very well - standing when we were asked to stand, and sitting when we were asked to sit. I suspect that few visitors to the church have received such a warm welcome from the congregation. Probably several dozen people came to greet her and tell her how good she'd been. (I have to confess, though, I think I may have spotted her sleeping a little during the preaching.)

She'll get used to the animal door stops this week and I'll be able to leave her at home with Teddi when I go to our special church service on Thursday evening.

Beginning to move..... a tumultuous start...

 It's official! Our home of many years is no longer the place we'll call home.  Yesterday we handed back the keys and the three of us moved to our temporary accommodation. 

In fact, the move began on Thursday, but things didn't exactly go smoothly. I had spent the day packing up the last bits and pieces. and at 6 pm, three friends came with a van for the big move. We loaded up half of the furniture, together with lots of boxes and suitcases, and off they went to where my things were to be stored.

You won't believe it, but when they got there, there was some kind of power cut and so the remove control for the big entrance gate wouldn't work. There was no way they could drive onto the property to offload my belongings at the basement storage space. As time was limited (two of the helpers were recently-arrived African refugees who needed to be at their Spanish class by 8.30) all they could do was leave all my things sitting in the street while they came back to get the second load. 

The second load of furniture and boxes made its way to the new house, but the gate could not be opened and so a second pile of things was let on the street in the new neighbourhood. There was little time left before nightfall, and my helpers needed to leave to attend their class and return the rented van.

With a sinking heart, all I could do was phone a couple of church friends to see if anyone was available to help at such short notice. What a relief and a blessing it was when four people arrived to carry things through the smaller gate and all the way down the slope to the basement storage area.

It meant, though, that quite a number of things got left behind at the old house, and there was no time left to move the dog and cat over to their new and temporary home. We ended up having to spend Thursday night "camping" in the old house - all three of us sleeping on an old mattress on the floor.

Read on below for day two of the adventure...

The reorganising and the big clean up...

Friday saw us up at 4 am, as I tried to pack up the final bits and pieces before spending day cleaning the house from top to bottom. Two friends from church came over for an hour to help clean in the morning, so that I could back to the "new" house and help to re-organise all the stuff that had been rushed into the storage area after night had already fallen. I also had to make several trips in the car with the smaller boxes and bags that had got left behind.

Then two other friends, a Brazilian and a Nigerian, came over and spent several hours helping me to complete the cleaning. They worked tirelessly, cleaning all the windows, scrubbing all the floors and generally helping to get the house back in pristine condition. (Some areas had been a bit neglected when I was in Scotland for a month, and then cleaned only half-heartedly when I was back in Spain but still struggling with breathing difficulties after the pneumonia.)

I simply could not have completed the task of all that cleaning without the help of those two ladies. The photo above was taken when Maiki and I took them out to the Chinese restaurant to thank them for all their hard work.

The day was exhausting for us and it was obviously rather traumatic for the cat, who tried to run away, scratched me all over my arms and stomach when I caught him, and then spent the rest of the day catatonic at the back of an empty wardrobe. We had to spend Friday evening "camping" for a second time on the floor of my old bedroom.

So when did we actually move? Read on below...

Where do we find security? (or the differences between dogs and cats)

On Saturday, we reached our final deadline: the landlord was coming at 11 am to collect the keys to the house. By this point, the difference between dogs and cats was becoming noisily obvious: my dog was just relaxing and getting on with life because I was there and therefore all was well in the world. The poor cat on the other hand kept hiding, traumatised, at the back of the wardrobe, or wandering round the empty house, miaowing loudly and anxiously because there was not a chair or bed anywhere for him to lie down on, and he knew that something "serious" was going on.

I couldn't help thinking that, in my relationship with God, I want to be like the dog: able to trust and be at peace, no matter where I am or what's happening, quite simply because I know that God is there for me.

Wrestling Teddi into the cat carrier probably traumatised him even further, but finally we were on our way - making the last trip to our temporary home.

Once we'd arrived, the canine-feline difference was obvious yet again. Maiki obviously thought she'd arrived in heaven: she's never before been able just to walk out the front door and run around in a big garden. She had an absolute ball exploring the place... and anyone who came to visit made a big fuss of her and told her what a well behaved dog she is!

Teddi, on the other hand, thought he'd arrived in hell. For the first four hours in the new house, he was catatonic, not venturing out of the cat carrier, even though he can barely squish into it. Finally, by mid afternoon, he emerged and ate a little food... but then took refuge under a chair, just sitting still as if he was in shock. Poor boy! I gave him his space, leaving him alone in a small room where I'd put a bed, water bowl and litter box. He finally dared to emerge from his hiding spot at bedtime and came to the room where Maiki and I are sleeping. Now his new "safe place" is on the floor underneath my bed.

Perhaps Teddi is a lot like many of us believers. The big upheavals in life can easily get to us at first... but when we're given a little space and time, we know that we're actually safe and we just need to draw close to our heavenly Father . (Or, in Teddi's case, he drew closer to me.)

As the psalmist wrote, "Lord, you are my hiding place!"