A visit from my granddaughter...

Back in 2009, when I moved in to share a home with Peruvian friends, we used to joke that I was 10 year old Gabriela’s European grandmother - as I was slightly older than her real grandma back in Peru. And so, for three and a half years, I watched my “granddaughter” grow up and be transformed from a little girl into a young woman. She and Teddi were big buddies and we used to take a photo every year on his or her birthday - to show how they both had grown. 

Ada and Gabriela moved to a new home last year, and I’ll also be getting a new housemate towards the end of this year. But, now that Teddi and Tobi have celebrated their fifth birthday, and Gabriela is well on the way to her fifteenth, she’s coming back tonight for a sleepover while her Mum is away at a conference this weekend. It will be fun to catch up, to cook together (she’s requested Mexican fajitas) and perhaps to play a game or watch a movie like we did in the old days. I’m sure that Teddi, Tobi and Tamba will enjoy the visit too.

The heroes at home...

Okay, I promise that this will be my last blog posting from the book of 1st Samuel. I can hardly believe that meditations and insights from these Old Testament chapters have been filling the pages of my journal for the past six weeks. In this final post, from 1 Samuel 30: 21 - 25, I would like to say a special thank you to the heroes who stay at home. It was more than twenty years ago that I noticed for the first time how relevant this little incident is to my own experience as an overseas missionary.

If you remember the story (see the three posts on 24th February), David and his men have set out to claim back the things that an enemy had stolen from them. On their way, however (see vs 9 - 10) some of the soldiers acknowledged that they had given all they had to give, and were too exhausted to continue with pursuing the enemy and fighting on the front lines. A decision was made to leave a certain number of men behind with the supplies.

More than 24 hours later, when David and his troops came back victorious from the battle, they were greeted by these faithful warriors who had stayed behind with the stuff. But some of those who had done the fighting on the front lines were not very keen on the idea of sharing their plunder with the ones who had stayed behind. "These guys didn't go out to the battle," they said. "Why should they get a share of the victory spoils?"

David's response to this philosophy was an important principle that became a law in Israel from that day forward: "Don't be like that, " he said. (vs 24) "The share of the people who stayed with the supplies is to be the same as the share of the people who went out to the battle." They may not have been doing the fighting on the front lines, hand to hand with the enemy, but their role was important too. The front line fighters would not have been able to do their part, if these other guys had not done the important job of staying back and watching over the supplies.

Isn't this principle so true of missionary service? Some of us have the challenge and privilege of serving "on the front lines," while other believers stay at home with the supplies. Probably not because they're exhausted, like the soldiers in the story, but simply because they have a different calling. They're called to serve God in business, in education, in politics and in the local church. They serve as housewives, hairdressers, plumbers and electricians. They have their own mission field at home, and they also play a vital role in "guarding the supplies" (prayer, resources, encouragement and finances) for the missionaries who have gone out to serve in the front lines of the battle. And both are heroes! Both roles are important. Those of us serving overseas would find it impossible to do what we do, if it weren't for the vital role of those serving at home.

And so both "share in the plunder." Even though I serve in another country, I can still stand in prayer for people back home and the situations they face in their everyday lives and in extending the kingdom of God right there where they live. So I can rejoice when I hear news of blessing and fruitfulness on the home front. And those who are living back home, instead of of on an overseas mission field - they nonetheless share in the credit, the encouragement and the victory when prayers are answered, when people come to the Lord and when God brings blessing to our missionary involvement overseas.

So today, I want to say a big thank you to those heroes at home, especially the ones who have been an encouragement to me personally, and who have stood with me in prayer and in financial giving during more than three decades of missionary service. You are a hero…. and I pray that God will reward you for all you have invested.

What to do in a crisis - step one

I've come to the end of my reading in the Old Testament book of 1st Samuel, and over the past couple of days I've been reflecting on how an incident in David's life gives us a great example of what to do when we find ourselves in a crisis. You can read the story in 1 Samuel chapter 30.

This particular crisis in David's life was that he returned home from a battle, only to discover that raiding Amalekites had attacked and burned down his home city, Ziklag, as well as kidnapping all the women and children who had been there.

David's first response to this crisis is found in verse 4: "David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep." It's perhaps not the response you were expecting, but it's an important one; when tragedy engulfs us or disaster strikes at the foundations of our lives, it's important that we give ourselves permission to grieve and to express our emotions - to shed tears and to talk, both to God and to other people, about our pain.

I remember, twenty years ago now, meeting a teenage girl on a King's Kids outreach in Namibia. Her Mum had died just a few months before, but she hadn't allowed herself to cry, because people told her that Christians are supposed to "be strong." The pressure that people put on this poor girl was based on a wrong understanding of what it means to be strong. Strong people are able to express their emotions freely and without embarrassment, but in a healthy way. It is much healthier to shed tears of grief, loss or disappointment, than to push our feelings under the surface and allow them to fester there.

So David's first response to the crisis was to grieve…. but it didn't stop there. It would have been unhealthy for David to cry forever, to wallow in self pity, worry or depression, or to become paralysed with thoughts of regret and hopelessness. Read on (below) to discover an important second step that brought balance to David's feelings of grief and discouragement.

What to do in a crisis - step two

If you've ever been suddenly and violently plunged into a crisis, you'll know how it shakes you to the core of your being and leaves you in a state of shock. Whether you were diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, or came home to find your house burgled; whether you lost your job or were falsely accused of a crime…. whatever your world shattering event was, it's normal to feel a mixture of conflicting emotions. Fear, anger, guilt, grief, loss, pain and confusion can all be there on the spectrum. David poured out his shock and grief with so many tears that he felt completely exhausted (vs 4) but he also moved beyond that to an even more important step.

After the initial shock and grief, things got even worse for David because the others around him started to feel bitter and to blame him for what had happened. Perhaps he even felt tempted to blame himself. This increased David's sense of distress, but he made a right choice amidst the pressure, and took his crisis to the Lord. 1 Samuel 30:6 tells us that David knew how to find strength in the Lord his God. This ability to draw on God's resources is what brought balance and courage back into David's life. His circumstances didn't change at all… but he was able to draw on God's grace and strength to face his heartbreaking situation and prepare for the road that lay ahead.

Some people want the comfort of others in a crisis and just keep looking for a shoulder to cry on. This is okay, but if it's the only thing we do, it could put us in danger of not taking this important second step of leaning on God. Other people by personality just want to be left alone with their pain, because they think that no one else will understand. This response is also understandable, but it could put us in danger of too much introspection and isolation. The right response is to begin strengthening ourselves in God.

Of course, if we haven't learned to draw on God's resources in the good times, if we haven't been regularly drawing on His strength and grace for our daily lives, it will probably be difficult to trust and lean on Him in a crisis. We need to keep "practising" this dependence on God when times are good, so that it will be a natural and instinctive response when a crisis shakes our lives.

Knowing how to draw on God's grace, hope and strength is a vital foundation for the third step in how to handle a crisis. Keep reading below.

What to do in a crisis - step three

If you've reached this point after reading the two posts above this one, you'll know that I was noting David's responses to a devastating crisis in 1 Samuel chapter 30. His first response was to allow himself to grieve and then a second, and very important, response was to find strength in God.
These two steps are what gave David the courage and resilience to move on to step three: taking back what the enemy had stolen from him. 

One of the encouraging and exciting things about being a Christian is that God will often enable us to reclaim the things that the devil attempted to rob us of. This can happen in different ways, but it will always be life changing, and it begins with the step that David took in verse 8: bringing the crisis to God and asking Him what to do about getting back what the enemy has taken from us.

Of course, if someone has died, that doesn't usually mean that we'll get the person back. If our house burned down in a fire, it probably won't miraculously appear again. If we lost our job, we won't necessarily get it back again. If we were diagnosed with a terminal illness, we may or may not come to a place of complete healing. But there will be other ways that we can take back the hope, peace and victory that God wants us to have in life. It starts, though, with what David did in vs 8: asking God what we should take back, and how He wants us to do it.

Let's say, for example, that my crisis was caused by a diagnosis of sickness, or by an accident that caused disability: I need to know whether I'm to fight and pray for a miraculous healing… or whether the things I'm to take back are more in the area of hope, joy and the grace to live courageously in challenging circumstances. 

Let's say that my crisis was caused by slander that cast a slur on my reputation: I need to know whether to fight to clear my reputation, or whether the true spiritual battle is about learning to rise above that, leave my reputation in God's hands, and learn to live shame-free, despite the rumours.

Or let's say that my crisis was caused by a colleague's betrayal, by a business partner who defrauded me or who went bankrupt and lost funds I had entrusted to him: then I need to know whether it's right to pursue justice in a court of law, or whether to move on and trust that a faithful God can make it up to me in different ways.

And so, sometimes the things we need to take back are the seemingly intangible ones: things like hope and courage, the grace to forgive or the ability to trust again. And sometimes what we get back will be concrete and practical - like being healed of a disease, or the surprising provision I saw last year after my purse was stolen. (Read the story by clicking here.) Sometimes it's one or the other; sometimes it's both.

And so that's why our personal relationship with God is so important. If I've never learned to hear God's voice about what to do (step three), I won't know what I need to fight for. Or if I have never learned to find my strength in God (step two), I'm going to be too weak for the spiritual warfare involved.

David's example in 1 Samuel 30 gives me a clear example of how to respond in a crisis. But it also reminds me that I need to treasure and invest in my friendship with God during the good times too, so that I have a storehouse of His resources and will not be overwhelmed when a crisis comes along.

Birthday tricks and the passing of time...

Like the "anniversaries of the heart" that I wrote about in a previous post, birthdays always make us aware of passing years - whether it's your own birthday or someone else's. Today is Tobi and Teddi's fifth birthday; I can hardly believe that it's been five years since Sue and I had to be "midwives at midnight" when Tamba surprised us by producing a litter of kittens. But yes, it's true: I really have been living in Spain for five years now. 

It's amazing to think of all that has happened in those five years - things that I never expected (including having a household of cats!) In honour of the birthday, we've uploaded a new video to YouTube - a compilation of twenty of the tricks that Teddi has learned since we started our new hobby, just after his birthday last year. Not to be outdone, Tobi (who's been rather disdainful of trick training in general), performed some acrobatic tricks of her own this morning - climbing all the way up the patio gate in search of some spider or other life form on the roof of the house! Happy Birthday Tobi and Teddi, Timmy and Pickles!

Not planned, but redeemed...

Since just over a week ago, I have a new decoration in my lounge: a small jade plant in a ceramic pot. My new decor wasn’t planned; it was “redeemed,” and the process has highlighted a number of spiritual lessons about the way that God is at work in our lives, if we allow Him to. Just before my trip to the Ukraine, I went to one of our local supermarkets to buy a couple of large ceramic mugs that were on offer. I thought they’d be perfect for my cup of milky coffee in the morning, or even for drinking soup. As I arrived home, however, carrying my shopping bags into the house and fumbling for my door key, suddenly my arthritic hands couldn’t cope with the weight (it happens regularly) and one of the shopping bags went crashing to the ground. It was the bag with the two new cups in it and, sure enough, one of them had a huge chip out of it and was rendered unusable before I could even cut the label off.

Well, it hadn’t cost much money, but it still seemed a pity to throw out a brand new mug, and so I had the idea of using it as a plant pot instead. My living room has large shelving areas that are in need of a few more items to discourage the cats from climbing up and perching there. So I went out to the back patio and “amputated” a limb from the jade plant that’s spreading in the flower bed there. Now, instead of a broken cup in the bin, I have a small decorative plant on the top shelf. It’s a visual reminder that, even when something goes wrong in life and our vulnerability opens us up to brokenness and pain, it can still be redeemed and turned into something beautiful in the end.

That’s what Romans 8 verse 28 is about: the fact that God can take even the hard or bad things in life and turn them around to bring about something good for those who love him. I remember, decades ago, a friend told me about a book he’d read, called, “Don’t waste your Sorrows.” I never actually read the book myself, but the idea behind it was that God can take the painful things in life - even the unjust things that others do to us - and weave them into a destiny that turns out to be amazing for us in the end. That’s what He did for David (in the book of 1 Samuel) who was pursued for years by a rival who hated and wanted to kill him. That’s what He did for Joseph (in the book of Genesis) whose own brothers sold him into slavery, who was falsely accused and spent years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. God didn’t plan for any of these things to happen... but He redeemed them.

I may not have read the book, but I’ve always remembered the principle: don’t waste your sorrows. Don’t waste time in things like self-pity, unforgiveness or revenge, when you can give life’s hard times back to God and trust Him to redeem them. That’s true not only for the things that others do to us, but also to the troubles we bring upon ourselves by our own sin or selfishness. God can forgive even those things and redeem them to make something beautiful for His kingdom.

I read another book this week - "The Butterfly Garden." It was the spine chilling testimony of a little boy who grew up with a cruel and sadistic father. They moved house 24 times during his childhood, and it was only when he was 22 years old that he discovered the reason why: his father was a convicted murderer, a child killer who had escaped from prison and been on the run for 26 years. This man could have allowed his childhood trauma to completely destroy his life. Instead, now grown up, he has redeemed the darkness of his past; he is a key player in a charity seeking justice for neglected and abused children, and a popular speaker with children and youth in schools. He has given hope and help to countless children in situations that seemed as hopeless as his own.

It was not only my broken cup, but also the jade plant itself that spoke to me of God’s faithfulness and restorative love. See the posts below for more about that.