Walking and holding...

How do you show that you love someone? Well, you share life with them, walking together for part of your journey here on earth. And perhaps you also hold them: hugging them (if it's a child, spouse or friend) or petting and brushing them (if it's an animal.)

Walking and holding: two different ways of expressing love.  The thought came to me this morning when I was reading in Deuteronomy chapter 11, where Moses reminds the people (in verse 22): Show love to the Lord your God by walking in His ways and holding tightly to Him.

Walking and holding. One is about obedience and the other is about intimacy. Walking in His ways is about doing the things God asks of us. Holding tightly to Him is about nurturing a close connection to Him and continually developing our intimate friendship with the Lord.

Both are needed. You can share life and live in the same house with your spouse, your children or your pet.... but if there's never a hug, a kiss or another expression of affection and friendship, those relationships will not flourish.

It's the same with the Lord. Obedience is important and is a way of expressing our love and trust towards Him. But holding tightly to Him is about something even more personal and intimate: it's about knowing Him as a Father and a Friend and expressing our commitment to a close and loving relationship with Him.

Only two weeks to go...

Time is flying by in the LDC. Last week our topics were self leadership (being intentional in setting growth goals for our different roles and relationships in life), healthy lifestyle and leadership integrity. Now that week four has come to an end, only two more weeks remain.

So this week was an opportunity to invest in friendships, new and old, with staff and delegates from the LDC. On Friday night (photo above) a few people came round to my house for a meal. On Saturday, I was invited to a barbecue and a games evening with my KKI friends, a family from Switzerland. Today (photos below) I took three of the ladies to Benalmádena, where we ate fish down by the sea, and took a walk in a beautiful park.

Looking ahead to week five of the LDC, we'll be covering topics such as values and vision, as well as coaching and mentoring. I'll be teaching on three days, and would value your prayers for that. We'll also be having a small group processing time where four of our ladies present one of their own values in a creative way. And we'll be kept busy marking some of the delegates' homework assignments.

Now that I've been free of crutches for a few weeks, my foot is almost pain-free and I'm walking fairly normally again. At weekends, I like to go for an early morning prayer walk with my four legged friend, Buba. I'm being careful not to walk too much, but I'm enjoying being out and about again.

May, meals, MCs and marathons...

The first week of May, which was the second week of the leadership development course, is already behind us. That means we're now a third of the way through the school, with only four weeks to go. Together with another staff lady, it was my turn to MC the week and debrief it at the end. I also did some of the teaching this week. One of our main topics was "leadership timeline" - a look at the stages of development and different processes that God uses to develop Christian leaders throughout their lifetime. The other main topic was "team leadership" - considering how our different giftings can work together in fruitful shared leadership, instead of the "one man band" style of leadership that expects one person or one pastor to lead everything alone.

I also had a birthday this week, and that made for different ways of celebrating and being celebrated. Instead of a birthday cake, a friend had made a delicious chocolate cheesecake - several of them, actually, so that all forty people in the LDC could have a slice during our morning coffee break. Various friends prayed for me and shared prayer impressions the Lord had given them for me; I also received a number of little gifts from both delegates and staff.

It happened that my processing group had already planned to meet at my house that day to talk through some of the topics and happenings of the week. We're a group of six ladies from six different nations: Hungary, Romania, Switzerland, Scotland, Armenia and Singapore. (That's from left to right in the photo above, which shows us enjoying an ice cream at my local heladería before heading to my house for coffee.) I'm quite partial to ice cream, so it was kind of fun that this group meeting happened to fall on my birthday.

Another of the LDC staff had a birthday just two days after mine, so we got together with a few of the staff  to enjoy a delicious meal of Singapore chicken curry.... and a hilarious round of the game "Taboo." What fun to eat outdoors with friends, relaxing on a sunny Friday evening after a busy week in the leadership development course.

Food and games continued to be a recurring theme as we moved into the weekend. One of my neighbours invited me round on Saturday to eat pulpo - a traditional octopus dish that she had prepared, together with a healthy mixed salad. Dessert arrived later, when some delegates who had gone to the big fruit market in Malaga dropped off some cherries at my home. I love fresh cherries and these are among the first crop of the season. Strawberries and cherries are the two fruits that are readily available during the LDC every year.

Three more delegates came to my house on Saturday evening. We had pizza together, followed by a marathon tournament of the "Phase 10" card game and a time of prayer together. Pictured with me are the other two losers of the game - ladies from Thailand and the Ukraine. The photo was taken by our Armenian friend, who shot into the lead at the last minute and ended up being the surprise winner.

The third week of LDC lies ahead, and one focus of the week is on dealing with the sort of things that could damage our teamwork and undermine our leadership. We'll be looking, for example, at Biblical principles for conflict resolution, confrontation and mediation. We'll be considering models of prayer ministry that can help people deal with old "baggage," such as unhealed wounds from the past, or lies that the enemy would try to tell us about ourselves and about God.

We'll also process a topic that we call "signature sins" and "signature virtues." We all have our own positive characteristics that we are known for: some people are known for their optimism, their generosity, their compassion, their encouragement of others, or whatever. But we also all have our own patterns and tendencies towards sin. By the time people have been Christian leaders for decades, most of the "big" and more obvious sins in their lives have usually been dealt with, but there's a danger that we become complacent about dealing with the more hidden and seemingly "smaller" sins that are a present, even if relatively invisible, hallmark of our lives.  But the truth is there are no big and small sins in God's eyes, even if it's easy for us to become negligent in dealing with character traits that don't seem such a big thing to us.

This is a week when staff and delegates can speak openly and vulnerably about their own "signature" sins: the tendency to be impatient or selfish; to have a critical spirit or a leaning towards self-righteousness; the seemingly inbuilt tendency to fall into self-pity, unbelief, self-reliance, over-eating, laziness.... or whatever it may be that the Holy Spirit shows us. It'll be a time for considering the "antidotes" that will help us partner with God in overcoming the patterns or weakness and sin that are still there in our lives as believers. It's usually a week where the Lord does a deep and transforming work in leaders' lives and we'd be very thankful for your prayers during this time.

Time to move on?

A few days ago, I began reading in the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy, and my attention was caught almost immediately by a striking contrast in the first few verses. In Deuteronomy chapter 1 verse 2, it says, "Normally it takes eleven days to travel from Mount Sinai to Kadesh Barnea (the point from where the promised land could be seen and entered.) In the very next verse, Deuteronomy chapter 1 verse 3, it says, "But forty years after leaving Egypt…" 

What a shocking contrast! You've probably heard it before. The journey to the promised land could have been completed in only 11 days. But instead, it took 40 years of wandering in the wilderness.  And why? Because the people were stubborn, ungrateful and resistant to God's work in their lives. And so a journey that could have been completed relatively quickly ended up taking much, much longer.

I hate to think that the same could be true in my own life; that my lack of spiritual understanding, my failure to obey quickly or my doubts about the character of God could prevent me from being where and who God longs for me to be.  May we learn from the sad history of the Israelites, and seek to follow God with all our hearts.

Read on in the post below for some further insights into what it means to start moving on.

Break camp and move on...

In Deuteronomy chapter 1 verses 6 - 7, Moses reminds the people of something that God Himself had said to them, many years before: You have stayed at this mountain long enough. It's time to break camp and move on… Any time I read this verse, I have to make a pause for reflection: is there any area in my life where I've got "stuck"or am getting "stale" ? Anything where God is telling me it's time to move on?

The people of Israel had been at Mount Sinai for some time. It had been a place of wonderful revelation (the ten commandments had been given there) but also a place of devastating failure (the fiasco of the golden calf.) Our successes and our failures can both be part of what makes us stay too long in one place. But I guess that "breaking camp" also represents moving out of our comfort zone and being willing to venture beyond what has become familiar to us. So I find it interesting to look at the list of places the Israelites were urged to move on to:

The hill country - more challenging ground, where enemies like the Amorites lay ahead. Sometimes we don't break camp because we think the hills ahead will be too difficult for us.

The Jordan valley - sometimes we hesitate to head into the valleys and low places, fearing that they will be too discouraging for us. But the Jordan valley was also a place of being watered and becoming fertile.

The Negev - the dry, desert areas where pioneering something new is slow to bear fruit, and where all our patience and perseverance are tested.

The western foothills - perhaps these are like the place of preparation for new mountains to b conquered.

The coastal plane - a place of broad vistas, new horizons and uncharted waters; a place to receive new vision for launching forth.

All the neighbouring regions - all the other nearby places that God has for us. In missions terms, we might call these the "omega zones" of our world.

And all the way to the great river - just as the River Euphrates formed a natural boundary to the territory God was giving the Israelites, this speaks to me of persevering all the way to the boundaries that God has set in place for us; going as far as He is calling and allowing us to go, without allowing internal or external obstacles to make us set our own boundaries and limitations.

For me, stepping out and teaching a seminar in Spanish this year was one way of breaking camp, moving beyond what was safe and familiar to me, and starting to take some new hill country. Every time I plan an overseas ministry trip, it's part of going "all the way to the river" and not allowing my physical/health challenges to dictate what I can or can't do for God. What are the foothills, deserts, valleys or hill country that God is prompting you to move on to?

After listing the ground to be taken, God places the Israelites before two complementary verbs: giving and occupying. The Lord says, in verse 8, "Look, I am giving this land to you; go in and occupy it." God does His part, but the land will never be ours unless we do our part too. It's like when someone gives me a pair of shoes or slippers as a gift. Even when the giving has already happened, I'll never feel the benefit of those slippers unless I step into them; unless I put my feet into them and "occupy" them.  Spiritually speaking, it's the same with the territory that God wants to give us.

So these few verses at the beginning of Deuteronomy once again caused me to pause and reflect on my lifelong journey with the Lord. Are there places where I need to break camp and move on to further things that God has for me?

Drawing closer or lingering further

Last weekend, in the days leading up to Easter, I was reading in the closing chapters of Luke's gospel. In the second half of Luke 22, two men caught my attention. One is the man whose ear was slashed off during a skirmish in a grove of olive trees. Luke doesn't tell us his name, but John's gospel tells us that he was the high priest's servant and his name was Malchus.

This man was one of the group who came to arrest Jesus, so I can imagine that he approached Him with feelings of aggression and hostility. I can't believe he remained unchanged, however, by what Jesus did for him after one of the disciples attacked him and cut off his ear. What must it have felt like to come to do harm to a man, and to have that very person reach out and touch you with gentleness and healing? We're never told what happened later in that man's life, but I can't help wondering if allowing Jesus to touch him (instead of resisting that touch) was the beginning of a journey that ultimately brought him closer to Jesus. When we're willing to give up our own independence and self-reliance, when we allow Jesus to touch us and make a difference in our lives, we'll find ourselves growing closer to Him from day to day.

The second man who caught my attention in this passage was the man who wielded the sword and caused Malchus's injury. John's version of the account tells us that this man was the disciple, Peter. No doubt his action, albeit impulsive, was a sign of his courage and was done with the best motivation in the world: he wanted to defend his friend and Lord, Jesus. I wonder what he thought when Jesus reverses his heroic efforts by healing the man's ear. I wonder what he felt when Jesus publicly corrected him and told him to put his sword away. John's account reports that Jesus said, "Shouldn't I drink from the cup of suffering that the Father has given me?" But Matthew reports that Jesus said to Peter, "Those who live by the sword will die by the sword."

Was Peter shocked? Confused? Disappointed? Hurt, offended, or embarrassed at what Jesus had said to him? What happens next, when they arrest Jesus and take him away, is that Peter follows, but now he follows "at a distance." Was he simply afraid of what might happen to him, or had he allowed a little distance to creep into his heart because of what had happened in the garden? Was he a little offended, a little mistrustful, a little disappointed that Jesus seemed so weak? For whatever reason, he allowed a little distance to set up, and that set the scene for the denial and betrayal that followed shortly afterwards. The distance was the beginning of a more serious separation in relationship.

It's so easy for this to happen in our own lives. It can happen in our relationship with God - when perhaps we feel disappointed that a prayer seems unanswered or that things don't turn out the way we hoped that they would. We begin to feel angry or offended at God. It can also happen in our relationships with other people - when someone says or does something that hurts us or makes us feel belittled or offended. We begin to distance ourselves in our hearts from that person, and slowly we're setting the scene for more serious alienation, conflict or criticism. How important it is to deal with such things immediately, and not allow distance to separate us from God or from others.

One incident, two men. One was perhaps drawn closer by the incident, while the other allowed it to push him away. How do you and I respond to the crisis incidents that we encounter in our everyday lives?

Failing yet not falling away...

It's Good Friday, the day when we particularly remember Jesus' death, and so it seemed appropriate that my Bible reading this morning was in Luke chapter 22. It tells the story of the last supper, and of various conversations that arose shortly afterwards.

Because I was reading in a Spanish Bible, I was struck by a little detail that isn't immediately apparent in the English version. In that conversation between Jesus and Peter (verses 31 - 34) Jesus says to him, "Satan has asked to sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you, that your faith will not fail." In English, it sounds as if Satan has specifically targeted Peter, but in the Spanish (and presumably also in the original Greek) we can see that the first half of the sentence is in the plural.

Sátanas os ha pedido sacudir - "os" is the plural form of "you." Satan was going to shake all of the disciples, and not only Peter. But, interestingly, the second half of the sentence is in the singular: yo he rogado por tí - "tí" is the singular form of "you." Jesus says that he has been specifically praying for Peter, that his faith wouldn't fail. Does this mean that Jesus wasn't praying for the other disciples? Extremely unlikely! Jesus was no doubt praying for all of them, but He knew that Peter was in particular danger of losing or failing in his faith.

Then Jesus says, Cuando hayas vuelto - When you've come back again…  When you've come back? Wait a minute! It almost sounds as if Jesus is saying, "My prayer won't be answered. I'm praying that you won't fail, but you will."

In fact, as Jesus understood well, it wasn't Peter's denial of Him that would be the evidence of failing faith. Fear would make him deny knowing Jesus, even though in his heart he did have faith that Jesus was who He said He was.

No, I think that where Peter's faith was in danger was in what his reaction would be to such as monumental failure. Would he allow shame to overwhelm him? Would he be able to believe that Jesus could ever forgive him for doing something so awful?

And so this was why Jesus has been praying specifically for Peter's faith. He knew about that glimmer of courage that would make Peter follow Him to the high priest's house, even when the others had already run away. He knew about that swell of panic that would make Peter deny Him three times. And He knew that failing so spectacularly would break Peter's heart, making him vulnerable to the enemy's taunts that what he'd done was unforgivable. This was the point at which Peter's faith could fail, and this was what Jesus was praying about.

Jesus' assurance of answered prayer is seen in the use of the subjunctive in Spanish - or what we call the future perfect tense in English: when you've come back, strengthen your brothers. Jesus was saying, "You're going to fail, Pater, but you're going to come back stronger for it." Perhaps it was the memory of these very words that later helped Peter not to give up completely.