The context of the story is that Peter and the other disciples had spent three years following Jesus, believing Him to be the Messiah and Deliverer that God had promised to the nation of Israel. What shock and disillusionment they must have faced when it all came to a sudden end... when their leader was arrested and put to death.
They soon discovered, however, that Jesus didn't stay dead... that He was supernaturally resurrected and was now alive again. We read about those discoveries in John chapter 20. It seems, though, that this knowledge of the risen Christ wasn't really making much difference to the hard reality of their daily lives... a reality where they could no longer eat and talk and cry and laugh with their ever present Friend. No longer did they listen to His teaching every day; no longer did He send them out to preach the gospel and heal the sick... It must have felt like their lives had no purpose any more.
We don't know how many days had passed since that resurrection Sunday, but a time came when Peter couldn't take it any more, and longed to return to something secure and familiar. "I'm going fishing," he announced, and the six disciples who were with him said, "We'll go with you."
If you've read that chapter in the Bible, you'll know that their return to "earning a living" didn't go particularly well and they didn't catch any fish at all.... until an early morning encounter with the risen Jesus saw them haul in an amazing catch. Over breakfast on the beach, Jesus reminded all of them, and Peter in particular, that they were no longer called to be fishermen, but to be "fishers of men."
While walking the dogs this morning, I was reflecting on the thoughts and emotions that probably led Peter to decide, "I'm going fishing." When things in life just aren't working out, it's a natural reaction to want to return to something safe and familiar.
As I mentioned in a previous blog post (this one - click here to read it) when it became obvious that new rules were going to make it difficult for me to find a flat or house to rent, more than one well-meaning person asked me whether I couldn't take a job to supplement my income... go back to something I know, like teaching English or tutoring French, in order to bring in more money towards the cost of renting a flat nowadays.
Of course, unless I actually have a contract with a language school, (and therefore a "salary") having more income won't in itself make a big difference to my situation. I'd still be unable to give proof of monthly wages. The other problem with seeking a job as a solution is that it could very well end up being a case of, "I'm going fishing," one that will not be particularly successful if it isn't God's will, and one that might actually prevent me from doing the missionary work I feel called to do.
On more than one occasion, I've asked myself, what would I do if I weren't a missionary, if I weren't waiting for God to open the right door and to provide a new home for me. And I suppose the answer is that I'd do exactly what Peter did. I'd find a job, or I'd go self-employed with teaching or coaching, so that I could find and settle in a new home. When "nothing seems to be happening," I can totally understand that the obvious thing to do is to return to the familiar and do whatever's in your own power to see the situation resolved.
I don't feel a lot of emotional energy for covering that same ground again during April... embarking on a fourth month of making dozens of phone calls, driving hundreds of kilometres, spending hours searching on real estate websites.... but it's the only wisdom I have... and I don't want to say, "I'm going fishing," unless I know for sure that God is inviting me to take up fishing.
So, on this Easter Sunday, I seek to stay close to Jesus, like the disciples did during that seaside breakfast, and to trust that He will guide me clearly in the days and weeks ahead.
