If you were already reading this blog back in 2008, you might remember the incredibly specific Bible verse about the 12 springs and 70 palm trees; that was only one of the ways that God confirmed the rightness of my being here.
When you’ve lived somewhere for a long time, leaving it permanently can be a very challenging transition. I can still remember how traumatic it was for me to leave South Africa after living there for almost fifteen years. Suddenly, absolutely everything in my life was changed or simply lost.
I lost my home; I lost my friends and team mates; I lost my church and my missions/ministry involvement. I had to give away my car, my furniture, my books and all kinds of other things that it is impossible to take with you when you change continents. I lost my dog and my cat… and although they lived quite a number of years after that, I never saw either of them again before they died.
I moved to a situation where everything was different: different culture, different language, different way of doing things, different church, different ministry opportunities…
That’s the way things are if you’re single. When a couple or a family move to another location, they take their team with them. When a single person relocates, they lose absolutely everything and have to start completely from scratch. There were many times in those early years when I reflected that I felt like a refugee. I’d had to leave everyone and everything behind and it felt like I was starting life and ministry from scratch. There was a long period of loss and grieving as I made such a huge transition.
I knew that, one day, the “new place” would become home, but until that happened, I felt cast adrift, having to learn a new language, make new friendships and build a new life as a missionary in a completely different setting.
And now, here we are, many years down the road. It’s amazing for me to realise that I have now lived in Spain even longer than I lived in South Africa. Today marks the 16th anniversary of my moving to Spain.
Eight years ago, I was invited to consider moving to another part of the world to pioneer a new ministry there. I remember counting the cost - realising that Spain had become home and that leaving here would likely be just as costly as it had been for me to leave Cape Town…. perhaps even more so, as I was almost sixty, and “starting from scratch” is even more challenging when you’re in an “older” stage of life. I confess to feeling a sense of relief when God confirmed that He was not in fact asking me to make that move.
Almost another decade has gone by since then and I’m at the age when some people give up work and retire. I don’t at all sense at this point that the Lord is prompting me to retire from missions, but I have given some thought to the question of where I should live if I ever do retire. And I realise that it would be here in Spain. The climate is so much better for my lungs and my arthritis than colder places in northern Europe, including the country where I was born and from where I hold a passport.
The world has also changed a lot since I’ve been here. In particular, Britain’s decision to exit the European Union has had huge implications for missionaries serving in Europe or for those who might hope to end their days here.
Fortunately, I got my Spanish residency before Brexit happened. I still had some battles to get back into the healthcare system, but at least I didn’t lose my residency and find myself restricted to just “90 days in Europe” at a time. But if I ever leave Spain, and lose my treasured residency, it would be extremely difficult, probably impossible, for me to get a visa to move back here again. And the same would be true for any other country in Europe. Any departure from here would be as permanent as my long ago departure from South Africa has been.
So today, on this anniversary, I look back and thank God for the many different ways that He demonstrated His faithfulness in the past. I honestly do not know all that the future holds, but as I seek to stay close to Him and obey Him, I know I can thank Him in advance for the many different ways that He will demonstrate His faithfulness in the future.
In what ways do you celebrate the faithfulness of God in your life?
I lost my home; I lost my friends and team mates; I lost my church and my missions/ministry involvement. I had to give away my car, my furniture, my books and all kinds of other things that it is impossible to take with you when you change continents. I lost my dog and my cat… and although they lived quite a number of years after that, I never saw either of them again before they died.
I moved to a situation where everything was different: different culture, different language, different way of doing things, different church, different ministry opportunities…
That’s the way things are if you’re single. When a couple or a family move to another location, they take their team with them. When a single person relocates, they lose absolutely everything and have to start completely from scratch. There were many times in those early years when I reflected that I felt like a refugee. I’d had to leave everyone and everything behind and it felt like I was starting life and ministry from scratch. There was a long period of loss and grieving as I made such a huge transition.
I knew that, one day, the “new place” would become home, but until that happened, I felt cast adrift, having to learn a new language, make new friendships and build a new life as a missionary in a completely different setting.
And now, here we are, many years down the road. It’s amazing for me to realise that I have now lived in Spain even longer than I lived in South Africa. Today marks the 16th anniversary of my moving to Spain.
Eight years ago, I was invited to consider moving to another part of the world to pioneer a new ministry there. I remember counting the cost - realising that Spain had become home and that leaving here would likely be just as costly as it had been for me to leave Cape Town…. perhaps even more so, as I was almost sixty, and “starting from scratch” is even more challenging when you’re in an “older” stage of life. I confess to feeling a sense of relief when God confirmed that He was not in fact asking me to make that move.
Almost another decade has gone by since then and I’m at the age when some people give up work and retire. I don’t at all sense at this point that the Lord is prompting me to retire from missions, but I have given some thought to the question of where I should live if I ever do retire. And I realise that it would be here in Spain. The climate is so much better for my lungs and my arthritis than colder places in northern Europe, including the country where I was born and from where I hold a passport.
The world has also changed a lot since I’ve been here. In particular, Britain’s decision to exit the European Union has had huge implications for missionaries serving in Europe or for those who might hope to end their days here.
Fortunately, I got my Spanish residency before Brexit happened. I still had some battles to get back into the healthcare system, but at least I didn’t lose my residency and find myself restricted to just “90 days in Europe” at a time. But if I ever leave Spain, and lose my treasured residency, it would be extremely difficult, probably impossible, for me to get a visa to move back here again. And the same would be true for any other country in Europe. Any departure from here would be as permanent as my long ago departure from South Africa has been.
So today, on this anniversary, I look back and thank God for the many different ways that He demonstrated His faithfulness in the past. I honestly do not know all that the future holds, but as I seek to stay close to Him and obey Him, I know I can thank Him in advance for the many different ways that He will demonstrate His faithfulness in the future.
In what ways do you celebrate the faithfulness of God in your life?
